Cafe Hitch-hike


The story goes like this...

I had to uproot. I had to uproot because it was getting too close to comfort for me. She had always read my journal. As a matter of fact I found out about Diaryland through her and read hers (haha, then she eventually locked it, though she never had a lot to say in the first place. Do you want her address? hahah). Isn't that ironic?

She never really seemed to like me all that well and I didn't think of her too highly because of it. (She was the person I wrote about a couple weeks ago when I was talking about someone who had the ability to make others feel like shit). I wouldn't had cared if she read my stuff or not, but the problem is that we are in the same profession. It is like a fishbowl around here and everyone knows everyone. She used to work for the same people I now work for.

The thing is that I applied for a job at a college where she still works. I thought she had moved on but she hadn't. I don't know if she really was reading or not, but I just had this feeling in my bones that she was. I didn't want her reading about my thoughts and feelings and actions. Since she had such a stellar (uh, "bitchy") personality, I didn't trust her. I don't want her thoughts of me to bogarde any of my endeavors (yeah, it sound superstitious but I can't help it, it was just a feeling). It's one thing that anonymous people or aquaintances read it, but not people who are directly and immediately involved with some part of my life, and that I have reason to not trust anything they say or do with this stuff!

I didn't want to lock my diary because I kinda like the randomness of these online journals... it's like you walk across someone's stuff that's good or is funny or moves you, and I didn't want to omit myself from being a part of that! It pissed me off when I thought that part over!

downwind | upstream