Cafe Hitch-hike


La Family Loca

Happy (American) Thanksgiving to all, even those who don't live here. I'm not much of a holiday person, I'd rather go do something cool and forget it's the holidays. My family is muy loca so holidays tend to be creepy times. On my mom's side, they eat at about 2:00, and then blaze joints for the remainder of the night. Conversation isn't the most stimulating or coherent. With certain relatives, such as Aunt & Uncle Jerk the crackheads, they then ask why the hell I'm still not married and childless. I should've asked them when they'd decide to stop doing dope.

I don't talk with my father's family, mostly because they are not in the north. The men and women remain in separated places, like the men watching football, women in the kitchen, and the kids playing outside.

I'm going to spend time with my "step-family", that is, the family of my now-deceased step-mother. If it weren't for them, I probably wouldn't have any faith whatsoever in holdiays. They are fun-loving and laid-back people.

The thing this year is that my half-sister (with the mother mencioned above) isn't speaking to me. She hasn't spoke with me since January, when she got pissed at me for some advice she asked for. She isn't confrontational, she's just passive-agressive and just pouts and throws the most uncomfortable silence. She'll say little evil cracks discuised as jokes, and that's all she'll do. So, I'll get to see her at the family gathering, and I'll try not to let her bug me too much.

Her family knows we aren't talking. All I said was, "she asked me for some advice on an adult matter, and I gave her adult advice." I didn't tell them the real issue at hand. Namely, she was separated from her husband and was going to file for divorce. She was messing around with some guys at that time, and he found out. She asked me what she could do, and all I could say was, "face it, you can't hide." Since then, she hadn't answered any of my e-mails or calls, so I stopped trying to call.

I guess I have another little issue with her, which I've had with a couple of other women in the past. The relationship starts to get to something like I become the crying shoulder and that's it. My concerns and thoughts and anything I talk about isn't any concern of theirs, the relationship becomes all about them. They don't give the same weight to my concerns that give to their own and don't pay atention to them. My things get dismissed within seconds so they can gush and gush about their thing. It leaves me feeling so angry and frustrated. And of course, if I bring it up, I only get, "oh, come on! I listen to you!" and nothing changes until I choose to stop talking to them.

Guess that's a bit of a sore spot in me. I'm a pretty laid-back person, but I always manage to find someone who takes advantage of it!

At first I felt a little concern about what PC may say to her relatives about me, but then I didn't. She may make little comments about my life, whatever, but I have more damning information about her. I didn't lie to my husband and family about what I do with my life, and I didn't lie to men about being married. I never treated men like playthings whose only purpose was to please me and do what I wanted (honest, ask them). When PC asked me some questions about sex, I answered her because it was obvious she didn't know, but all that stuff has to do with my own personal and adult life, where I was never dishonest or hurtful, and am entitled to have besides. I could imagine her talking to one of her aunts and saying something about what I did, just to make her look more angelic or whatever. If she wants to play that, then I've got plenty more to shoot back at her.

Her spouse is gonna be there, and last year about this time they were separated. It's gonna feel weird seeing him again. But as for him, he never talks anyhow so at least I can rely on him not saying anything or asking me anything.

So, this is my magical holiday season with my freaky family. I get to kick it at work 'til 6 and then I will drive 3 or so hours to the hometown.

Now I see the appeal of Xanax and Valium. Alcohol's not too bad either for moments such as this. These holidays are a great thing I get to deal with year-by-year.


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