Cafe Hitch-hike


SNAFU and other acronyms

SNAFU: Situation Normal: Always Fouled Up. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that really is the story of my existence.

Just when I thought this other part-time job at the public library would settle my life a little bit, the local newspaper of that town said yesterday, "Wasteland Public Library is expected to close within 6 months." The library staff claims that isn't true and that it's all another part of the vendetta of the town mayor and her library board against our library director. True or not, I really didn't like this further disruption in my already disruptive existence.

Hmm, and the Big Boss had been acting like a fucking dill these past couple of months and my lady boss wasn't so swell either at one point.

Let's see, let me count the ways:

(1) I get a "warning" from her that that having a "temp" job like what I have at the university isn't good to have for too long, then literally the next day she says she needs my assistance. I noted, "interesting change of tone, Miss." She swore that her "warning" was just advise, but I didn't like its tone at all.

(2) My Big Boss was so pissed at me that I didn't meet him to drive to a conference that he excluded me from our presentation. A whole day wasted when he could've done it all himself!

(3) Ah, and don't forget the obnoxious blind woman he put me in charge of supervising (who he hired because he liked her guide dog).

(4) And then...the $100,000 grant proposal that he had me write in 4 hours.

I was getting so tired of the university that I said I was taking the week off except for the damn day that I did payroll for the undergrads. The Big Boss was to take me out to eat, but I don't want to anymore.

What a change in the economy. It is different as day and night from when I started graduate school. The school had good placement rates for its grads, but this year it's probably fucking wretched! I have 2 shaky part-time jobs, hooray. Better than no job, but their instability drives me fucking nuts!

I feel so tired (not too tired to write obviously) that it doesn't feel like Christmas at all, doesn't even feel like a holiday season.

SNAFU. I thought this extremely fouled-up crap would end when I started a real profession. I was wrong, dead wrong.

My dating life is equally SNAFU. The guy I'm dating is a motor mouth and a terrible listener. He doesn't have much interest in hearing what I have to say. Hmm, the redeeming part is he does fun things and it nice to get out of the house. Hmmm, a guy I hang out with to do fun things with... I think they call that "a friend", or "a guy I hang out with"?

He wants a committed relationship and to settle down. That's cool, so do I, but not just anyone will do! It's not like add water and stir! I told him that what he wants is a good thing, but I thought both people should like each other and want to be with each other.

I met this guy on that Yahoo personals. Lala thinks those things are terrible, she thinks that when people meet either it's for a quick lay or that when people do meet, it's implied they'll automatically be committed just because. Yup, I see where she's coming from.

One thing I do know is that being able to talk is good, but people also need to be able to listen! I was dating Stevo, one of my classmates last year and our relationship was based on an occasional movie, take out, occasional sex, and me always complaining he never listened to me. He always said he was sorry and that he would change. Hmmm, that episode lasted 3 whole months when I was getting sick of the whole thing, and I think he was getting sick of me as well.

SNAFU... So, in a last-ditch attempt to do something with Dan, I invited him over for dinner. I will be myself, treat it like a friend is over, and then let it fade. Then, I can be another dating-relationship-that-ended that he can drone about, as he already drones about that so nicely.

It's like I wanna scream, "Pay attention, dipshit! Women want to be listened to just as you do! Maybe all those girls left because you never listened to them and you were so focused on a committment that you never gave it a chance to happen!" There's a nice dare for me to say to him. Yeah, might as well start that so that I can nip another repeat of my 3-month long waste-of-time with Stevo.

Hahah, and I can think back to the thought, "why should I be perfect?" I've been hurt by the stupidity and inconsiderate ways of others, so why should I take the effort to nice??? God, I'm so pissed!!

Nothing is ever normal in my life.

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