Cafe Hitch-hike

2003-12-26

A blue sky Christmas

What did I want for Christmas? To have my energy back so I can actually feel like I have something to give back to the human race (and not just to my library patrons and cohorts). I also said last night, "I just want to see blue skies again." Not only with my eyes, but with every other part of me... In my mind so I don't get depressed, in my heart so I can actually laugh and truly love (and receive love) again. In my professional life, too...

I woke up this morning and the first thing I could see through the edges of my shades was a blue sky. Unless I knew it was December, I would've thought it were May.

And, I was rested. And I laughed. I layed in bed and smiled.

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Christmas Eve was spent calling my best people and also by being called by one of them (yes, you Flav). Sis A2 was a little snippity, but I found out today it was because she had spent 6 whole hours cooking in the kitchen and had to work only 2 hours on Christmas Day. I even called Louis to wish him well, though that didn't last. I also felt some apprehension about calling the Moe Family, wondering if maybe they took my confessional about my sister PC the wrong way, none of them were answering when I called (did they see my name on their caller IDs?)... I don't know, but once I got over that, I called my mom, and we had a nice little talk, oh-yes-we-did.

I (thought I) concluded Christmas Eve with a midnight Catholic mass at Saint Barbarian's in this town. I felt a little freaked out when I heard the choir sing before mass began 'cause they were singing in another language. I looked at the missilette when I sat at the pew, and one of them was in Polish. The priest was also Polish, with a name like Zbignew or something like that. After the linguistic adjustment, they did the main things in English and a few things in Polish. Hmm, never had that experience before... One of my hometown parishes has mass in Lithuanian but those were at different times for all the old Lithuanians who were daughters of other old Lithuanians from the old country, who settled that side of town 100 years ago.

Mass ended later and I got home at 1:30. All that Polish made it run over? It was difficult for me to sleep, and when I thought I finally managed, the fucking barrio-ghettoboy downstairs decided to blast his music at 4:30 AM. He's on liberty from the Navy and visiting his wife who lives downstairs. Of course, when I finally called the municipality police (who answer these quickly), the music stopped. They still noticed me talking to the police, so hopefully they will shut up, and realize they aren't in Southwest Detroit anymore. I finally got to sleep after 5.

So, I woke up at 9:00 to get ready for my drive to the hometown. I felt delirious, tired, convinced that my holiday and hopes for quiet and recuperation were ruined. Ruined!! My face was a pasty white-gray, and I felt so uptight...

I drove out of metro Detroit, which was enjoying another mild winter day, only to get smacked with wet snow and poor visibility once I left the damn county. I saw almost a dozen cars and SUVs in ditches, 3 collisions... I could only imagine what would be in the hometown, since they get much more snow that this place. I got off and turned around.

"I'm sorry I can't see you guys," I said sincerely to my family while in my car, "but this is just too dangerous."

Another crappy holiday for me, right???

Maybe not...

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