Cafe Hitch-hike


Coffee in LaLa Land

I was wondering what was on John-boy's mind. His expressions vacillitated between interest and animation, then drawing back and bashfulness.

"Damn," I said to Lala, when I updated her on him, as she went far, far away for the winter break, "I'm not sure what the hell he thinks of me or us. It's like we're at this impasse. Of course we like each other, so it seems to me. But I don't want to dive into something stupidly again. I don't want to get involved with someone who wants only one thing from me.

"As for him, well, I know he was hurt with his divorce. He speaks of it as if it were a mistake and he has this look of pain when it's mencioned. Maybe he's afraid.

"Yes, and he draws back at the weirdest times. I get this response from the guy who wrote the short story where I am crying a lake of tears, then he's in the lake, drowning, and then we splash and splash for our lives, and then it evaporates into a cloud from our splashing, and we're lifted on it and we're dancing on a cloud in the moonlight! I don't know what to think!

"Well, if I get anything out of this, it's that romance and fanciful thoughts aren't dead. I mean, really. I swore they were dead. I love the way he treats me..."

Later that evening, I thought little would occur when we met for coffee. I thought he would duck again & again, and I can just let his phone calls drop off the face of the earth.

Wore red for some strange reason.

He likes the color red. Or better yet, he loves the color red.

A talk over coffee. We talked over a lot of things. I told him a bit about me, my life as he once said he didn't know alot about me. I said that, but we said to each other:

I enjoy your company.

The best things are taken day-by-day, that is... You make the most out of the day and the time together. Not saying it's a cop-out for commitment, it's just that if you look at a relationship too heavy as a "forever" thing, you block its essence.

I like the way you make me feel.

He didn't shrink back once. He was smiling all night, looking directly at me. He was completely at ease. I was surprised, delighted...

But what about the feeling of being in lala land?

"Maybe that's what I like about you," I said to John. "Maybe I like that I can make you feel that way, and makes me feel good. And maybe LaLa land is another a form of reality."

"Reality? Oh, who cares about that?" he laughed.

downwind | upstream