Cafe Hitch-hike

2004-02-11

One for the ladies

I sent this pre-Valentine's Day "gift" to the single ladies in my office:

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I only think of you on two occasions: Night and Day

By Smoove B
Love Man

Baby, since you've been gone, Smoove B just hasn't been the same. I must admit to you, I miss your loving. Since you left, I have been unable to erase the memories of you from my mind. Day and night, I dream of you. I dream of all the wonderful moments we shared together. I dream that one day, I will enjoy the privilege and pleasure of grooving you once again.

Aw, baby. I want to invite you back to my apartment and make a special night for you. I want you to lay back and let Smoove B make everything all right again. I want to make you a gourmet meal and serve it to you on only the finest chinaware. We will enjoy wine and candlelight, and I will make roast duck or pheasant, or some such meal that is fine. Only the finest meal is fit for my baby. There will be gravy also.

I will hand-spoon the meal into your sweet mouth. Every bite. And I won't rush you. I will not present you with another bite until after you are completely done with the one you are on at that time. I would never rush you, sugar.

I believe that after I prepare this superb meal for you, you will come back to me. You will forgive me for all the wrong I've done you. I know you will. Because I am truly sorry for all those things I did to you. And I am deeply sorry for all the things I said to you. You know I didn't mean any of it. Smoove B will love you with all of his heart and for all of eternity.

Damn, I just want to get freaky with you right now. Right this second. Do it to me.

The only time Smoove B is ever happy is when he is thinking of you. Don't you see, baby? I can't live without you.

When I am thinking about you, I am thinking about sprinkling the floor of your home with rose petals. Then I want to put on your favorite Jodeci tape and dance with you real slow. Then I want to slowly pull your clothes off your smooth, sexy body and move you onto the floor. Then, I want to get on top of you and love you all night long.

And you know, girl, when Smoove B says he will love you all night long, he means all night long. From the onset of night to the break of dawn. I will not sleep until you are satisfied. I will attend to your every desire. I am not concerned with my own happiness whatsoever. I will rub scented jasmine lotion all over your naked body. I will wrap you in satin sheets and hold you. I will strip for you.

Baby, I just want to be your everything. I will make it my sole mission in life to be your servant. And I will not stop pleasing you until the day I die. I will also give you love during that time.

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