Cafe Hitch-hike


Doomed to live in mom's basement

My yesterday had a hodge podge of things. I began my commute listening to a radio story about new college grads who move back in with their parents. Then, Big Boss and Lady Jane had a serious talk with me. As one of the librarians is getting some serious chemotherapy, they have called on me to fill some of her duties. Of course, it doesn't equal raise, benefits, or stuff like that, but they need me, I am here, and I've got no full-time job. Of course, I am encouraged to keep applying elsewhere, as one said, "you need the protection of benefits." On my break at the pub.lib, I took a walk in a nearby subdivision where they have individual condo units on a small parcel of land. I guess it's idea for people who don't feel like doing lawncare.

Role Reversal. I went home and dreamed last night that I was talking to my mother. She had a small house in one of those condos, and she looked great. She had her own life, own things, own happiness. She chucked away her hillbilly man and just used him for occassional lays. She looked bright, smiling, and was about 15 pounds thinner. I was tempted to think she stopped drinking.

"Now, Hitch-hike, when do you think you'll find full-time work? In about a year?"

"Well, I'm hoping for months, like 6 months," I said wistfully.

"Alright, then. I'd like to know just so I can make some plans. I mean, you can have that room, but I will just need to make plans for when guests come in and visit," she said. "Not that I want to kick you out or anything, believe me."

"I'm really concerned," she added.

"I am too! Do you think I want to live this way forever? I just can't afford my own place!" I exclaimed.

"I know you are, I know you are," she said. She gave me a look, sort of pitying.

Whaaaat???? My mother making plans? My mother pitying me? That was the weirdest dream ever!


If anything ever drove my butt in gear, it was when I wanted to get away from some situation. No, no. I rarely change situations, I just get the hell away from them. I can change situations, settings and myself far more easier than I find it to change people (hahah).

Yup, I realize I'm not getting any younger. Someday I may want to retire and shit. I might get something more major than icky colds or bronchitis, too. Well, I've been wanting for some things to be more stable lately. I've been wanting to (gasp) make things more secure for myself and my life. I reckon it's just a matter of time... It's just a matter of time...

downwind | upstream