Cafe Hitch-hike

2004-04-05

Meet the daughter

I finally met the daughter of my boyfriend. I felt just as conscious of doing that as I had when I met his parents. With our age difference, I didn't want them to think badly of John or me. I was expecting some perplexed look from them: "who the hell is that?" His parents were not like that all, thank goodness. To them, I was probably just a nice lady friend accompanying their son to an event. I stopped thinking, "so what does this mean in our relationship?" Friends often meet the parents and family of other friends, nevermind the romantic or dating part of the relationship.

So what about a daughter? John has a 14-year old daughter from a previous marriage. It had been an unspoken agreement that I not meet her. That was fine by me for many reasons, the main one with being his life with me and his life as a dad should be kept apart. I guess I also don't want to get too close or have a relationship with someone else's kid so early in a dating relationship in case we break up.

John and I hung around with one of his buddies, but John said he had to go pick up his kid. I thought he would drop me off and come by my house later, but he didn't stop there. We kept going to the fieldhouse where his daughter had volleyball practice.

It was my time to get a little nervous and say to myself, "agh, what will she think?" I eventually got to thinking all she could reasonably think was what she would see: her dad's got a friend in the car. So what if it's Friday night? All kinds of people hang out with friends on Fridays, even dads!

I sat in the car while John went to get his daughter. As they approached the car, she looked my way and seemed surprised to see someone else in the car. She kept looking until she got into the back seat.

"Nora, this is G," said John.

I turned to her quickly and caught her eye. She then stared out of the front window. "Hi, Nora. It's nice to meet you." I turned quickly, and then sat down.

My black wool hat covered my head and I was wearing my black suede coat. The car was dark. I hid in the darkness, in my clothes, and in the front passenger's seat.

I kept the guise. I don't know why. I was like the neighbor in "Home Improvement," who only shows his hat and eyes from behind the fence. I decided at least to say a little something to her.

"So Nora," I asked, "are you a hitter or a setter?" We talked about volleyball and sports while we took her home. She was pretty excited about that. I told her a little bit about my life in high school sports. I asked her about varsity letters and if she has gotten a jacket just yet. She said she hadn't and we talked about the different letters, like for choir and academics. Before we knew it, she was home.

Wow, I met Nora. I don't think I've dated a guy or had a boyfriend who had regular contact with his kids. The closest I got to that was a Rust Belt State Univ. pal who had a son in early elementary school. I got to know and like him. I always had a nice time with them, but then it may be because kids are still playful and curious at that age. I could play and be goofy with the kids. Now teenagers, they are a different story!

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(completely unrelated) Concluding thought about my profession:

"What little I knew about serial killers
I learned in a university library.
The only thing I knew for certain was
that people didn't kill each other in libraries."
(Kalifornia - 1993)

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