Cafe Hitch-hike



The rumor was true: my mother will be moving from Austin back to my home town. She ran away last summer after a drunken fight (yes "fight") with her boyfriend, and now decided to come back. Her reason:

Mom: You know that your sis Beads has been having trouble with her boyfriend?

Me: You mean that loser? The guy who can't keep a job? The guy who gets thrown in jail all the time for not paying child support for his 3 other kids? They guy she met at a bar? The guy who cheats on her all the time?

Mom: Oh, you knew about that?

Me: Know? He just looked like a loser, nobody had to tell me he was a loser. Then, I heard about these things.

Mom: You know that he's been beating her?

Me: Oh, no! That's terrible!

Mom: She can't live with him anymore. I decided that I need to come back up.

Me: Come back?

Mom: Yes, Beads needs my help. She's only 23 and so naive, and with that baby...

Me: **??????**

Mom: ...Beads really needs someone to help her get back on her feet...

Me: **Mom, helping someone besides herself? ??? ***

Mom: ...I don't know if she's been using or whatever...

Me: **Like, "Yes" and using a lot***

Mom: ...but I know that I'm getting better, I've changed, I see things differently now---

Me: **I don't want to hear any of your lies. I get to hear enough of this shit from Uncle Joe** (Interrupts) So when do you plan to come up?

Mom: September.

Me: What about her dad? Didn't he offer to help her out?

Mom: Well, you know how independent she is, and that she likes to go out. He wanted her in by 11 and she didn't go for that... The thing is, Larry (Mom's boyfriend) offered to let her stay with him.

Me: So?


Me: **Ah, jealous I see. Well, you were with him on & off for 12 years, he lived in the house along with your young kids, you always were impressed with how they all got along, and he was such a great role model that now my brother Debo always finds girlfriends to sponge off, just as he had from you for years** What's wrong with that?

Mom: I just don't like that idea.

So when did my mother get so chivalrous with her children? When did she become such an expert on helping others out? Wow, I was really impressed this was coming out of the mouth of the lady who only shows up for work when she feels like it (they keep her because she can speak both Spanish and English, and she's usually the only one on the job who can). I really digged the way she sounded so self-sacrificing in the name of her children, although she spent most of their childhood in a cycle of drinking, hangovers, fighting, leaving, coming back, and repeat.

I was pretty angry. It doesn't happen to me often, but every once in a while I get a flare-up inside over the lovely disaster called my family life. I know I can't change anything, and I know I shouldn't get worked up over things I have nothing to do with me. It just pissed me off, in the worst kind of way, to listen to "news" and intentions contrary to everything I've known, witnessed, and directly experienced with my mom and siblings.

I was shocked when my mother abruptly left us, but when I recalled everything she ever did in her life, it wasn't such a surprise. I missed her at times, but as time went on, I got used to her being gone. I even entertained the thought: "hey, let's go to austin for a long weekend to see mom... i can do it, i've got other people i can see there."

Now, she's coming back to win the title of Mother of the Year.

Well, I should just remember her own flawed humanity, just like my own, and let her be entitled to it, bugs and all.

That's my mom. Always bursting my bubble, and doing the best job at pissing me off that few others manage to attain.

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