Cafe Hitch-hike

2004-07-15

Things that are cool, things that suck

Top 10 Reasons Detroit Sucks:

1. The police
2. The mayor
3. Unemployment
4. Abandoned and neglected houses
5. Bad roads
6. The gonorrhea/ syphillis rate (America's highest)
7. Belle Isle at night (don't be white or non-gangster or expect yo'ass capped, that is, unless you're white and a gangster or a gangster of any ethnicity)
8. The condition of its public schools
8a. The severe disservice #8 gives to the children of Dee-troit
9. A mass transit system (?) designed and coordinated by Satan himself 10. A VERY HIGH crime rate (yes, the rumors are true and more true 'cause crime is actually unreported)

Things that are cool about Detroit:

1. Mexicotown
2. Heidelburg Project
3. Motown
4. Belle Isle during the day (a place where everyone can chill, as long as drug dealers and booming cars don't frighten)
5. Its free summer festivals: Fourth Street Fair, Dally in the Ally, Movement (Techno fair), TasteFest, Freedom Fest ('til some ass decided to shoot 9 people in a crowd with an Uzi - see #10 of 'Sucks'), Detroit Art Fair, and Festival of Colors
6. Music acts of various types (much to the benefit and detriment to our culture): Madonna, Eminem, Iggy Pop, Mitch Ryder, Bob Seger, White Stripes, Motown folks, Aretha Franklin (didn't stay with M-town long), J. Geils (Detroit adopted him)
7. Woodward Avenue between Michigan and Warren
8. Sports teams (Wings, Pistons, Shock, purposefully omitting Lions and Tigers), or opera, theater, and symphony orchestra for those not down with sports
9. Canada's next door (Canada rocks, eh? It's so nice to get the hell out which leads to...)
10. Leaving

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