Cafe Hitch-hike


Money for nothing and the chicks for free

Back in the day when I was working in law, the head partner in the firm wanted to run an ad in some business papers. He also envisioned buying advertising space in the programs for state symphony orchestras. Old Man Moriarty, who was one of the most influential attorneys in the state forever, was too cheap to hire an advertising agency to assist. He generated a slogan for the ad, and even created a crass outline of a schooner:

"A business without a governmental affairs consultant is like a ship without a rutter."

Moriarty asked each person in the firm for their opinion, but he really wanted praise. When he asked my opinion, I used my dingy assistant role to my advantage.

"A business without a governmental affairs consultant? Gee, I dunno," I shrugged, with a little toss of hair. However, it was hard to hold back the grimace of my true thought: what the fuck? That is bad! Don't be so damn cheap and hire an advertiser already!

The next day over lunch, the office agreed that Moriarty's idea wasn't very good. Everyone from Baby Joanna, the 19 year-old receptionist from some hick town, to Cavanaugh, a cosmopolitan and seasoned attorney, thought so!

"Hmmmm," said Cavanaugh, "what should the slogan be for the ad?"

We brainstormed, but then I remembered Cavanaugh's favorite song by Dire Straits:

"'Money for nothing and the chicks for free,'" I quoted.

Everyone died laughing, and then other slogans were generated.

"Moriarty and Casey: We love the law like we lust for women."

"We love law 'cause we love your money."

"A business without a governmental affairs consultant is like an iceberg to Titanic."

That turned out to be one of the happiest days at that damn firm. When I feel bad or just want to laugh, I just quote Cavanaugh: get your money for nothing... chicks for free...


Eeew. This pub.lib patron and I have a weird attraction for one another. He's relatively regular, too. I quietly noticed him, admiring his green eyes (my downfall), but I never treated him any different. I don't flirt or anything. I'm anything but charming here (let's face it, I'm just a dingy person at times). I enter the building beautiful and glowing, and when I sit at the desk, I feel squatty, stubby, and dry. I get hit with an ugly stick when I walk into the door! I should take a "before" and "after" picture! So with that, my drab look and feeling will probably work as an advantage for me to not flirt or be successful with it.

I suppose I'll still notice guys for eternity, in or not in a relationship. Guys are just... amazing sometimes. So sue me.


Interview... 2 more days away... I've been scouting information like their mission statement, staff, campus size, and even the starting dates for their librarians... Hehehe, I feel like such a spy. I then use this information to make myself look like a genius to the interviewers. Go me! Whoo-hoo!!

downwind | upstream