Cafe Hitch-hike

2018-02-11

A beautifully stern response

I talked with a couple of friends about the return visits I got from others. We agreed that people really don't change, so don't expect any big changes in the relationships with them.

If anything, the returns gave me a chance to review things through a different lens, and perhaps I could see things differently from when I first met them and how we left things. I was able to think about what they meant to me and brought to my life, and then what had changed in me and my life when our paths parted. It also helped me decide how and if I wanted to proceed with our respective relationships.

One big thing I had seen differently was what both the person and I seemed willing or capable of giving to the relationship:

A couple of the returnees will mostly likely have access to certain aspects of my world, and not all of it simply because it's how we'd prefer for it to be.

I can expect to get an occasional phone call, text, or drink with a couple of others, and then we'll probably meet again down the road.

For another 2, the book needed to be closed and archived. The relationships took their natural course and they are now over.

In a symbolic move, I ordered a new pump for my patio fountain. It is the one my former colleague Cricket got for me in the fall of 2013. The pump went kaputski last fall and after 4 years. Upon my roughshod inspection, the pump or tubing didn't seem blocked with debris. When I tried wiggling the tubing off the pump, the tubing attachment broke, so I couldn't salvage the pump. I think the life of this well-used pump just took its course. I hope I'm able to continue to the use basin and properly install the pump. I'm crafty enough, so I'm sure I can make it work somehow!

The pump replacement is symbolic, all right. I wouldn't mind pumping some fresh blood through my 44-year year old heart with high mileage! I think I got the right size tubing for the fountain and enough length. I then made sure I got it with adjustable pressure so I won't have Old Faithful flowing from my third floor patio. I also decided not to treat the water with an algae killer because the dog likes drinking from the fountain, and I didn't want her to get sick from it.

In another amusing revisit, I had lunch with someone from Miami who visited me in my fishing village. At the end of his visit, he said, "I feel so weird with all of these gringos around!" The thing was the guy looked and talked just like one, and I told him no one probably suspected he was different. The guy also said he never spent much time in someplace so small. I snorted to myself. Those were echoes from Rafa and others who never spent more than a day outside of their congested, fast-paced, sheltered enclave. At least I gave this person a sample of the bigger world outside of Miami-Dade County.

After getting sick of tossing around some thoughts and feelings around in my head and getting nowhere, here's a beautifully stern response to the things on my mind:

...Water is wet, rocks are hard, and that's the way it is! God knows the world will keep turning regardless of what I do or think. I simply need to accept the things I cannot change and change what I can. Live my life and truths, love myself, heal myself, and move on. I can still walk, talk, think, eat, piss, and breathe independently, which is a lot better than many others. Take this chance at life that I've been given, and just do it to the best of my abilities!

Let's just see how I feel about these things in the near future!

downwind | upstream