Cafe Hitch-hike



August? It can't be! The month of May felt like yesterday! I don't want the semester to begin in 17 more days!

August! This means my birthday will be at the end of the month. I'll be pushing my 45th year in this life. I'm not in a relationship and more than one friendship imploded in the last 2 years, so my social life doesn't quite feel vigorous. Maybe I'll do a quiet getaway with my dog,or visit Aunt Tish in northern Florida. It would be nice if her husband's motorcycle club had another gathering, hahah! Maybe I can take a short trip, bring a fishing pole, and have a relaxing 3-day weekend.

I was thinking of having a gathering in the Cannabis Condo. It can now comfortably entertain 6 people. Now that 2 weirdos are no longer in my circle and won't attend the monthly dinner gatherings we used to have, it may get better. Maybe I can invite that crowd, maybe get Cards of Mass Destruction, have some well-spiked punch on hand (how about a Hurricane, bahahaha!), and entertain at my place?

I really enjoyed my birthday last year in Key Largo. Everyone had a great time! Rafa's brother-in-law liked it so much that he wondered what it would take to get a family condo there. Then, my Grandma Lina died about a week later. I decided to evacuate because Hurricane Irma was expected to hit any and everywhere in the state of Florida. With that, I broke a cardinal rule of Rafa's family which is to never, EVER separate them from each other. Talk about something wonderful concluding with something very stressful. Yeah, that period of time beautifully summarized my 2017!

My mentor's been on vacation and then I was out and about, so we haven't seen each other as much these past 2 months. I must say that I am making huge improvements on my mental and emotional state. I do appreciate it, and usually have enough energy on hand to do what I like or need to do. I don't feel as anxious or agitated as I often had felt.

I find that I often lose my patience with people, especially if it seems they are about to bullshit me or we're on totally different pages. I'm considerably more selective about where I direct my attention and with who I spend my time. I'm not as open as I used to be, and I think people often sense it. I'm not sure exactly what that is about. Maybe it just means I'm more discerning, but I don't want to be completely closed off or turn people off because I seem aloof. Well, my mentor said that I seem to be heightening my standards.

I'm also gradually meeting people to date. I've enjoyed the interactions and times spent with others even when I wasn't romantically interested in someone, which I'd find out after spending some time. One definitely was not interested in me, and I just shrugged. Different strokes for different folks, I've been told! I've meet a couple people where there was definitely a physical attraction, hahah, but the mental connection wasn't really there or maybe they were in a completely different space in their life than I am in mine.

I decided not to go to France this August as well. It just wasn't a very good time, both financially and because I'd be heading there to spend time with someone I really didn't know very well. I was invited by Alain, a guy I briefly dated when I lived in Miami. He will be here next month for work, so I'm sure we can have some fun and in a situation where I'd feel more comfortable.

So, I can pride myself on making improvements. Now, I've been wanting to address some interpersonal matters. I know I have an image of how I think I should be, and then there's the reality of me as my anxiously charming, witty, and modest self, and/or me as my vivaciously wayward self, and/or my schizoid side, hahaha!!

I gave another presentation this summer. Wow, I guess I could call this my 2018 speaking tour! I spoke at a national conference, an in-house professional development program, and then a campus-wide prof. development forum! It was another virtual program like last week's, except this time my presentation was streamed live and then recorded, hahah! At the end of the program which was also recorded, I had an impromptu chat with someone in the studio audience who was describing her use of the services I presented, and WOW! A professor's testimonial was the icing on that cake! I didn't have a huge audience, but the recording will be on that department's web page!

Wait, I actually have 3 more to give this month, but they are much smaller-scale. I may be able to get out of one because I was summoned for jury duty in 2 weeks! Ahahahah!!! Lawyers seem to like having librarians on the damn jury, so chances are high that I'll be called if a damn case makes it to trial that week. Dammit!!

Ok, I'll allow myself to bid a gradual adieu to this summer and speaking tour, and see how fast my birthday will spring up on me. A bit of telly and maybe chocolate will be my nightcaps for this evening.

downwind | upstream