Cafe Hitch-hike


Can't explain... take a listen

Everything about this song summarizes what I'm thinking right about now.

I headed to his place, and we hopped into his car to the brewery. We chatted on the way there, and as we paused and waited at an intersection, he smiled and said, "you are really beautiful."

I thanked him, and he replied, "you always have been, but I especially notice it now. You are, and I want to make you feel like that all the time."

The conversation was fun, kinda light, kinda heavy at times. We were so relaxed. We were going to hit another brewery, but decided to head to his place instead. It reminded me of going to my high school beau's house where we'd intend to chill and watch some TV or a movie. Well, just as it had back then, we were too distracted to watch it and...

I woke up at 3:30 because he was burning up. The beer and the evening's activity would had done it for anyone. I was thirsty and needed to cool off. His place was completely dark and I had to feel my way through. I quietly went into the guest bath and found the water we left at his sofa, and made my way back to his bed. I kicked the trunk at the foot of his bed; I forgot it was there. He murmured if I was ok, and I said I was. I don't know about him, but I slept pretty soundly after that, until I saw morning sunlight peek around the blinds of his window.

A dormant morning habit kicked in. I turned to him and put my arm around him. I don't like to sleep the night through in someone's arms (or someone in mine, usually), but I like sleeping like this before fully waking up. He wasn't used to it, I could tell. He didn't give me the usual block, but just laid back and seemed to take it in.

Oh my God, did this all just happen at Timmy's? Did he really spend the evening wooing me? Did he really notice me a little more than himself? Did he really open his space to me? This was eerily similar to me crashing at the casa of... a boyfriend.

He was miffed that his usual breakfast place changed owner and went downhill, so I took him to mine. Timmy tends to eat light, but he picked a la carte of the South American menu as I described what was what: arepas (white corn, not the sweet kind), empanadas, a pastry filled with guava paste, and cafe con leche... That on top of scrambled eggs (his entre') served with red rice and beans and chunks of pork belly. His usual food reserve was nowhere to be found that morning! I ordered a tamal and grazed off some of his food.

As I looked through the menu, I saw advertisements for local people and businesses. One of those showed the cheeky smile of my real estate pitbull (**said with affection**) Carlos and his wife (who is also his real estate partner)? Awww, I smiled. I wondered if he knew about this restaurant, and then I knew.

Sharing food, whaaaaat? And we were eating like... a couple or at least 2 people heading to coupledom. It made me think of a joke between me and Lily; we said we couldn't get into a relationship until we lost the weight we gained on the last one. People really do eat a lot when they're happy and in the presence of another. It appeared Timmy and I were up to the same thing.

I came home, and the dog must of felt the vibe because she was happy and excited. We took a walk, and she did a little more of this wiggle-trot she does with her hind legs. She was also smiling alot, too. If she caught that vibe, I guess I didn't end the night particularly dejected, but I still couldn't help but wonder, what on earth did we do last night, and what exactly does all of this mean?

Can't explain, can't explain. I'm not exactly sure what Timmy's unusual openness was about last night and this morning. Maybe 35 days of not getting any made him think differently. Or, maybe me telling him I needed some time to take pause and not date anyone did it. Or, maybe it was me saying to him 2 weeks ago that I didn't want things between us to degrade to a strictly friends-with-bennies thing, and that we should give each other space so we could find the relationship and person we really want. After all, maybe what we were doing was getting in the way.

Well, I can laugh, nod, and say we had quite an interesting evening together on many different levels. It was nice to stay over and see it all through to a good meal, and to go home where Puppy Dog seemed to pick up the vibe.

As I laid in his bed this morning, I thought of that doodle I had drawn up when I met him back in 2011, and I laid still and allowed my attention to go in that direction. So what does my heart say about all of this? Maybe like in the pic, I'll sit down and take a listen.

downwind | upstream