Cafe Hitch-hike


Thank you for assuring me that I'm not developing female hysteria

Had some gossip drift my way. It had to do with an acquaintance I've known for a long time, and in our last interaction, he said his assistant was gone and that he didn't know if he'd come back. I kinda sensed the 2 always had a connection, but then I heard there was trouble on their worksite. The assistant had worked for him for a very long time and I heard he worked for a paltry salary. With that, I figured the assistant was my acquaintance's boyfriend. When I heard about trouble at the worksite, I asked smartly, "so did (Acquaintance) and (Assistant) have an issue of sexual harrassment?" The person who told me had an odd silence, and later told me the assistant was accused of harassing an 18-year old customer. When that was investigated, the number turned out to be 6 people instead of 1 person. The Acquaintance covered up the assistant's actions and had the choice of being fired or taking early retirement, so he will be taking the latter. It makes me squirm a little when these little blurts of mine come true. I also feel bad because a colleague was let go from Xanadu Tech last year because of harassment. I'm glad it is getting taken seriously, but it's been pushing a little close.

I talked to my Mom a bit more about our upcoming trip to Michigan. She expressed the same thought as me and my brother: Why is Rosepetal planning this? Does she have some announcement to make? What does she have to say? We separately shared those questions. We hope Rosepetal's not dying. I now wonder what I may be describing when I'm done with that trip.

Speaking of a Michigan visit, here I go, once again, invoking one of my famous DLand statements: just because I'm being nice to you doesn't mean I want to show you my vagina. I feel like that more and more these past few years. Maybe I should just withhold all conversation from men who do not romantically or sexually interest me. That would probably make my life easier and take away the bother of when the responsibility of all that shite gets pushed onto me. M-kay, so how did that happen? I don't recall:

  • Sending pics where I am nude, a private part becomes public, I'm scantily clad, or wearing a bikini

  • Grabbing anyone's crotch

  • Shoving my tongue down anyone's throat

  • Occasional to frequent communications saying, "ooh, I do want you!" or something along those lines

  • And/or showing up or appearing in lingerie, flashing skin, or disrobing

  • I guess Bernardo's super bummed, pissed, or both that I didn't want to scrap everything I have here, and start a life anew in Detroit with him. I never did any of the above with him, and yet he had a delusion I was going to move. We had a kiss over that weekend, but it was one of those teenage-styled, let's see how this feels kind of kiss, and then he almost passed out in the car on the way back to his place. A few days after I came back, he boldly made his move and I cringed. I guess we can just stop talking until one of us has a terrible crisis, or we run into each other at a wedding or funeral in a few year's time.

    I then had a royally weird feeling about something else in the background of my life. Whenever I went to a certain place (which I have to from time-to-time) or thought about it, I'd feel terrible and have to literally shake off the feeling. I thought I was being terribly neurotic or moody as fuck. I was talking to my mentor about that place without going much into the feeling it gave me, and his feelings about the place were very similar to mine. Another person, about 2 or 3 days later, described some bizarre things that were happening there. I told them, "so you mean my weird feelings are not a part of my imagination? I really am picking up something? Thank you for assuring me that I'm not developing female hysteria."

    I've been told by others if I've got something, use it. If I get these vibes, listen to them. Maybe I'm not completely crazy. Maybe something really isn't what it seems. Maybe I just need a little time to discern what I'm getting and for the pieces to come together. I understand that no one and nothing is perfect. I guess it's as long as I'm able to steer around the things I can't handle or around needless trouble, then... it's all right.

    downwind | upstream