Cafe Hitch-hike

2019-06-30

Take 5

I opted out of the snorkeling gathering today because I'm nursing an inner-ear injury from the plane landing when I got home earlier this week. I felt this wicked pop and some hearing loss. I thought maybe my eardrum was ruptured from the pressure change and was going to see a specialist, but I have most of my hearing back (with intermittent fading). I thought I better let it rest if I plan to do more air travel in... 21 days.

Live from the Copacabana patio, overlooking the (retention) pond on this warm summer day! I started out with some Dave Brubeck (Take 5) and then the playlist went to Miles Davis (Kind of Blue). We have a soft rainfall, which made a (temporary) subtle difference in temperature.

Yesterday, I went on a bit of a spree with upgrading my bedroom. I didn't realize my bed felt like one of nails after sleeping in a couple comfy ones (the Canadian Mexican's and then the guest room in DC). My bedroom now looks like something more settled rather than transient. It made me see how overwhelmed I was with the house purchase. Leave it to me to take a cool event and manage to complicate it (haaha). No, but I felt drops of inspiration as I looked around, jostled the images of how things would fit, and then allowed the pieces to fall in place. Everything worked brilliantly (except the 2 new pillows, which I'll put in the office/ guest bedroom that will form in 10 years or so).

Since I got settled here, I go shopping at some neighboring fishing villages than the one where I live and used to live. I knew about the neighboring FVs but hardly went there until I sold some stuff and swapped it with a buyer in a strip mall. They are a little in the 'burbs, but I like the vibe. It's diverse and yet not dodgy. The stores are much better stocked and maintained, and I feel very comfortable around the clientele (many who are Latin; I guess it's the Latina and Miami in my blood). As much as I loved the Cannabis Condo, I must admit that shopping around there wasn't the best experience. I don't really shop much in my new neighborhood because of the vibe (and I'm usually the younger person in the shop by at least 25 years), so even though it's usually a 10 to 15 minute drive to the other fishing villages, it's worth it.

So going back to the Copacabana, my new place... I'm embarrassed to admit that it's taken a while to warm up to it. I used to own a cute little place when I lived in Gulf Bluff 12 years ago, but I moved here (GB was not really a great fit) and held on to the GB house until I was able to dump it via a short sale. I really loved that house, its space, and just about everything about it. I'd be ecstatic if I can have something comparable to it. It was big as this unit but had a fenced-in backyard (oooh, something where I could put up my hammock, maybe a small pool, sunbathe nude, and let Miss Marley run around without her taking her doggie walkabouts). The house was even affordable and it gladly became my hobby! Once things got bad at work and I decided to leave, I tried to rent it, but I went through 2 incompetent property managers before I decided to get rid of it. I was hemorrhaging money while I kept the house; I really wanted to keep it, believed it would financially get me to a place I wanted to be, and also it meant so much more to me than that. But, so many unexpected things happened! When I got the job offer down here, I just turned my back on Gulf Buff and resolved to never look back.

Well, I thought I just walked away, but I guess I didn't. I felt terrified that I'd go through another repeat with this place. Ok, so my job will implode. Ok, so I won't be able to find a job that pays comparably and can't afford the place. Ok, my property value will diminish by 33% thanks to a global financial crisis (which was exactly what happened with my Gulf Bluff place). Ok, I will take a terrible financial hit and scramble to recoup my financial losses (which I did). It would be nice to think things could turn out differently for me this time around, right? Yeah, I got pretty gun shy.

It was hard for me to bond with this place because I anticipated another loss. Money and I are not on terrible terms. I can usually get what I need, but seriously, I wish I could be like Timmy (or what he claimed to be) and be able to generate more worth out of what I've got!! I have to cop the perspective that it's not bad at all, and to let that sink in.

My online dating profile got hacked and it was replaced with something like: I am a nice but lonely girl and I need the strong arms of a man. I was able to replace the content and sent out some messages, but got none in return (and not even one). Beck, a guy I started talking to, told me that he couldn't see my profile or our messages. I deleted the profile and decided to chill out until after my trip.

I did meet someone else who seemed really cool. I got in touch with Beck the same time as the Canadian Mex, but he was on the road for his work, I kind of stalled on him because I was curious to see how things would work with the other guy. My bad, ha hah, but my excuse is it's been well documented that men frequently do the same when they date. For guys who regularly cheat, they have their committed relationship, a back up, and then an alternate. Maybe I'm just getting too old to worry about the convention of "saving myself" or "waiting" as women are supposed to do (hahaha). Yeah, I've been in a few relationships where I later learned I was in the batter's box, waiting for my turn at bat. Someone I dated a few years ago admitted to that 3 months in our relationship (and told me in a crowded restaurant over brunch; none of my friends liked him and said he did that so I wouldn't scream at him in public, hahah). I don't get pissed about that anymore, but do keep an eye for signs of things fading.

Beck owns a small machinery company, which is a subsidiary of one in Germany, and keeps busy with that and his 2 pre-teen daughters. He loves his mom, likes being a dad, and speaks well enough of his ex- (4 years past), and is ambitious. I warmed up to him as I got to know him better, and the other evening, we had a picnic on the beach. We got comfortable as the sun went down and started to smooch, and then... lightening. Really, a full-on lightening storm! My weather app informed me that lightening struck 2 miles away from us about 5 minutes prior, so we continued elsewhere. He said he had the same sectional sofa and color as his in his family room.

The next day, I brushed off the sand off the cushions and floor and smiled as I remembered looking in his denim-blue eyes. He was so sweet, and I loved our chemistry! We both will be traveling a lot this month, sadly. I sure hope we can stay in touch.

I need to grab another cup of coffee and double-check my trip list. I have no idea what to expect in terms of weather since Europe is having one intense heat wave, and I need to see if I need to get a different suitcase than the ones I have to carry on. OMG, there's a shrink-wrap style bag I discovered so lately, I've only had carry-ons and never had to check luggage cos I was able to cram everything in that thanks to the power of polymer technology, bahahahaha!! I need to get a new pair of Sketchers (most favorite sneaker besides Adidas) since mine are very well-worn, and then once again, take it from there.

downwind | upstream