Cafe Hitch-hike


I didn't have to try or work at it

I shared this with my mother. Although it was 4:00 a.m. in her time zone, she just so happened to get up to use the toilet and got the message:

...Sometimes we meet people who remind us of the presence of God's love, based more on friendship and affinity. We did that for each other. It doesn't mean marriage or infatuation, but just seeing that in someone who then reflects it back to us. I think this will make our hearts stronger (or at least my own!).

(Copperas) is otherwise very timid in his heart and thinks way too much (more than me, hahahahah). He apologized and felt bad for not returning the love I had for him in 1990, and said it has been that way with others since then.

But, he said he always knew I loved him, even now, and always made him feel special, even now. Funny, I didn't have to try or work at it. I felt something and just took it from there.

To my mentor (who joked he wanted all the details if I scored, hahah):

... it was many powerfully beautiful messages about love and its many manifestations. We learned so much about ourselves and each other, and we both had healing, and saw the pieces of the unfinished puzzles in our own lives. Absolutely incredible!!

I cry because of the way it touched me. It sucks we can't be together like a pair, but we are companions to each other in our shared and individual heart journeys. I cry at the physical separation, but also know in my heart we will always be a part of each other.

Am I crazy or delusional to believe this is truly love? We had so many barriers of language, culture, distance and time, and yet, we revisited and renewed the connection. It was the same as 28 years ago yet at a progressed depth. Businesses, buildings and relationships often can't sustain that, but what we had did.

It's an energy and presence I've never seen in my own life until now, and only read about.

I am not sure what I will do with all of this and I'm pretty damn sure new meanings and understandings of it will come. I will take the advice I gave to Copperas to not be afraid and have enough faith that I have what I need to be with it.

Now, it is time to explore yet another landscape of the seaside.

downwind | upstream