Cafe Hitch-hike

2020-01-18

More re-entries

I woke up slightly later than my usual time. I decided to enjoy a cup, knosh on a pig in a blanket, and eventually return to slumber. I was up late talking about everything to Rafa. I hadn't gotten to see him all week but we talk almost every day. In some ways, we picked up where we left off when things ended just over 2 years ago, while in others, it's a reconceptualization (don't give me that damn word 'reimagine'). We returned to each other with 2 years of new experiences and perspective. I don't think he was joking when he thanked me for that lapse so he could try seeing things differently.

I looked at his astro chart: Uranus transit opposes his Sun. When that happened to me, I had a life reinvention, and while it was bumpy, it was really quite exhilarating. I made the jump from the midwest to the Sunbelt, and whoa... the effects of that are still with me! I got a new job, I lost 15 pounds, and the results were showing of my extensive orthondontic work (which was going on its 4th year). I'd say my confidence in all kinds of things grew, too. I wonder how that energy will actualize in his life.

I'm a little surprised that I'm in a transitional period with my job. I started cleaning out files and made an outline of my tasks to the people who will take them. I felt quite a bit better, although at the same time, moving the emotional furniture kicked up dust and debris. I know I'm going to have to do something about any lingering anger and mistrust (although a lot of that had its place and reason). There's plenty that I can say about all of that, but I'll spill those lovely, toxic thoughts in a less public sphere.

We still have no new information about my niece's homicide investigation. Just before Christmas, my sis Bre allowed the local news to interview and record her where she described life after losing Arielle, her daughter. The sad thing was she did it to set the record straight (yet also shared only what the detective allowed). A couple of our relatives talked major shit about the death. I just so happened to come across a social media feed of one of our estranged cousins, and she posted the newsclip that covered the house fire where Arielle was found. I could only imagine what she had to say about that whole thing because she talked serious trash about us over the years.

Beads didn't work for 2 months after the death, and she's financially struggling. I set up a fundraising site for her and was able to raise almost $2,000 which can go fast, yet a part of me still wonders how she wasn't able to pay rent (and gee, that was the reason the fund was set up in the first place).

For me, everything quieted down after Arielle's funeral in early December, but it's still stark and extremely present in the lives of Beads' family.

I finally reconstructed the crappy Ikea desk I bought off CraigsList by adding additional fasteners, and got a desktop hutch! I decided to make the jump and get the futon for the spare room! Woo hoo! I already know what poster I'm going to get for the room (an Amsterdam canal!), and it will have a travel theme! I have an old bookshelf, and decided to get cloth, mesh boxes to use as makeshift drawers (where guests can keep their stuff), and I'll prop the TV on that. I measured the dimensions, and I'm really excited how it will all play out!

But now I have to get a blinds frame for one of my windows because it's in disrepair.

Before the spare bedroom is a hallway that has what I call my Mexican heritage wall that has some art and etchings from folklorists. Even before we got in touch, I thought about enlarging a pic of me and Rafael when we were in Cozumel. We stood at the edge of a restaurant that literally hung over the gulf, and a Mexican flag flapped from the sea breeze and was fully visible behind us. The flag was a little wind-battered, but its green, while, red, and Aztec Eagle were perfectly intact. We both were smiling, and I had one huge smile. For me, there was always been something special about seeing that flag wave over its own land; I remember the first time I had seen it, and the effect remains the same.

Rafa and I are gonna do an "Us" appearance. We used to go out a lot for events held by his family and community. I remember when it was like that when I was younger or around my family. Latinos really are festive, hehehehe, and I affirm it's true we will throw a party for a cat who had kittens. I usually enjoyed the gatherings. This will be the first, and for it being a kid's birthday party, that should be a soft re-entry.

downwind | upstream