Cafe Hitch-hike

2020-02-09

Despite all the talk

It feels like there's too many things to do. I'm actually gonna hire a house cleaner for my place next week so I can spend time getting that damn second bedroom squared away. There's too many things to do, and barely enough time to breathe.

Today, I decided to breathe. Rafa's off on a trip, and I decided to dedicate the weekend to absolutely nothing. I visited the local floatation tank place (I have a monthly membership), and it's been great for relaxation and mediation. A lot of things happened at work, I'm getting some traction on house matters, and I'm getting a better handle on this menopause thing (yesiree, Bob, that has been twice verified by hormone levels and other physical symptoms).

I also wrote another entry about the current cold gap between my sister Princ and I. I guess I have a lot to say.

I do see a lot of disruptions around me, near me and also far from me. Many mystics with varying understandings of spirit energy have been saying similar things: we are in a transition. I'm not so sure if it's the type where we all join hands and sing Let the sun shine in, but more like Barry McGuire's Eve of destruction. Hah. What's happened between the sister and me has been yet another form.

Speaking of disruption, this week was the usual form of whack at work. I did get the new position in the building (almost 4 months after I interviewed), and although I didn't get an official letter of offer and salary, the grand pubah made the announcement. My supervisors were not told when this would happen.

My old position will not get filled. Instead, some parts of it will become automated, while other responsibilities will get farmed out to others. This means my boss will get to write the damn reports and submit stats, and others will get my responsibilities added on to theirs. I'm not surprised at all. However, the person who was supposed to get my position is super pissed because they wanted the title and (dream on) little bump in pay.

I was pissed that no one got the heads-up and for the stress it caused others in my department, but it didn't take long for me to actually smile. I felt better because the reporting lines are changed to where I don't feel so stifled. I actually felt like I could breathe.

I'm not cheering quite yet. I better freaking deliver OR ELSE. Then again, our building's performance is so mediocre that maybe my minimal efforts will be acceptable. Hah again.

Lily was my predecessor. She always had been subject to self-aggrandizement which got worse as she gained influence in the building, and the position really got to her head. She did, however, leave good documentation that helped me see what she had set out to do. Now, my duty is to organize the public-facing part of what she did, and get training documentation in order (part of the job is for me to spearhead some professional development). Since the building (and every other damn place in Xanadu Tech) is understaffed, I need to rethink how the services will be delivered.

I already feel better about this position. I sure hope this stays this way and that I'm not in some weird delusion.

Meanwhile, house stuff continues. A handyman helped me with some electrical issues that have been longstanding. I would had done the work myself, but the electric is not up to current code and I didn't understand the wiring. I was glad I didn't blow up some GFCIs (the outlets that are supposed to be near sinks in case something that is plugged into the outlet gets wet or dropped in water). I just tripped them off when I tried to replace an outlet that I didn't know was supposed to house a GFCI (the previous owner had a regular socket it in). The handyman told me the outlets I tripped off were fairly new.

Next is a door for the master bath. I took out the big, awkward one, so next will be some French doors instead. Now that Rafa spends a little more time at my place, we won't have to watch each other on the toilet or completely leave the room to give privacy (he loves the master bath). When it was only me, that wasn't an issue, and Marley the Dog usually accompanies me to the toilet anyhow.

I still struggle with the second bedroom. I am slooooooowly making progress, however. I finally have semblance of a desk, hutch, and filing system. I then gave away some ancient outdoor gear to the local Habitat for Humanity thrift store. I will toss out the plywood that was used to cover my windows after last year's Category 5 storm that pummeled the eastern Bahamas rather than us. The plywood goes because my tax return is going to some storm shutters.

No, it wasn't easy not freaking out at this investment. This year's tax return paid for half of the cost, and I'll pay the rest over the course of the year. It poked at housing, economy, and career downfall 'what if's,' but the least I can say is it will improve the desirability of my unit whenever I need to go, hah. Maybe doing this will give me good homebuying/ renting karma in the next unit I may acquire.

The next purchase will be reusable things that are like sandbags. Those suckers are worth their weight in gold once the rains come down and the floods come up. They don't cost much, and I'll just keep them in my moldy outer storage where I keep paint and other things I don't mind growing fur.

A generator would be another nice investment to prepare for storm. It would go nicely with the camping equipment I still have from my Michigan days, which I quickly learned are storm essentials. I have tarp, 2 tents, binoculars, a gas stove, lanterns, citronella lanterns (for mosquitos). Maybe I should get a camp shower and humungous water cube to store water. I sound like a prepper who's getting ready for the apocalypse (hahahah), but-- it's just become clear that self-reliance is very important for literal storms. I don't think I want to evacuate for storms again. I've done that a few times, and I could never wait to get back home.

Despite all the talk about the condo and the work I've had to put in (which is on the low end of typical for a recent purchase), I'm so glad I have it. It is becoming a little sanctuary. I have herbs growing in patio pots, and the plants I bought when Remy came for a visit are still flourishing (bless his soul). My unit overlooks a nice pond (aka drainage retention or 'gator retention pond). I love looking at the banyan trees as I go to work, and inhaling the aroma of the nearby horse farm somehow stills me. At my place in Gulf Bluff, it was near an auto race track and I actually enjoyed hearing the races... It reminded me of the racetrack outside my hometown where my stepdad seemed the happiest taking us, and it was just a fun place besides. Yeah, the horse and plant farms also take me back to the things I liked about my hometown.

It feels complete with Rafa coming over, and it didn't feel the same before. We sit together, laugh, talk, and dream. I love my friend, and maybe everything else had to come first for all of this to happen.

downwind | upstream