Cafe Hitch-hike


The thickened skin has its place in survival

It's ok, I'll scream about it here cos I can't do it anytime too soon.

Is there a patron saint of people who get weird-ass messages in the nick of time? I've always had a knack for doing this, and it continues. I got some insider info. on some decisions made on the job. I'm on the same train as some of my DLand friends whose workplaces just go from bad to worse to bizarre.

I then invoke the visual memory of a guy I knew who got thrown out of a 3rd, 4th, or 5th story window by his colleagues during a contentious meeting. I then recall an instance of a guy who got sexually harassed by a very well-protected person at a school, and I knew multiple parties in that event. I hate having to use those to get "perspective" so that I know things can be worse.

It just makes me think about these things:

**I feel far less bad that certain people didn't warm up to me or like me. Why? I'm starting to appreciate there's certain people I don't want to have as friends, or consider me as one.

**My building has always had a lopsided or less than stellar relationship with our institution. I noticed our money matters have been seriously going to shit. A little bird told me it was because one of my former colleagues successfully sued, so the institution is taking it out of our budget's ass. Rightfully so, apparently, because someone broke a lot of employment laws. We then had a colleague threaten to kill another. Then, a work acquaintance was covering up his assistant's serial sexual harassment of clients (I was surprised, I always thought the 2 were a gay couple). Speaking of serial, my building has had quite the string of seriously unfortunate events.

There's other units on campus that are systemically whacked, and it's not long before the heads of their heads roll down the walkways.

**It reaffirms my thought not to trust too easily because people will push each other in front of buses without blinking.

**Being in the bleachers is a much better place to be than in the gladiator pit, and I'll try my best to be in the nosebleed seats.

I should be glad that I've gotten experience and perspective during my career, but a part of me feels weird to embrace my losses and battle wounds. Getting my ass kicked has helped me stomach the dysfunction more than the wins. I guess the wins got me a place at multiple tables and in conversations, but the thickened skin also has its place in-- survival.

It doesn't make it any better. If anything, I feel kind of bad. I'm glad the experience is there, but it still makes me feel a tad squeamish.

'Survival,' hah, I had to present it like that. I already knew we were in for some major cuts, but a little bird also told me a personnel purge and some major restructuring are in the works.

And what have I been saying these last couple of months?

My new mantra: brace... brace... brace... keep your head down... hands on your ankles... remain seated... until further instructions from the crew. Yes, repetition is powerful stuff to the mind and behavior.

There's really no place to go if most places are going through the same turbulence.

downwind | upstream