Cafe Hitch-hike

2020-08-06

Thank you, period.

Feel Your Weight, a beautiful find by Rhys, a Swedish-American singer.

I'd like to thank my friend known as The Masshole (I didn't come up with that, I swear) for adding a brilliant wind to my sails. They also cheered me immensely 2 months ago when I was at my most baskety case self during this pandemic. I started out crying over our coffee, but the coffee, conversation, and just plain caring cheered me so much. So simple, yes? It was so simple and yet I felt like I was walking on air at the same time.

I'd like to thank the universe for giving me 5 months away from the building while being duly employed. I mean, I'm terribly sorry the pandemic has done bigtime damage and disruption to our people and institutions. But, I got 5 months away from the building's toxicity while getting paid and being able to do what is expected of me.

I'd like to thank my sister for the silent snarl we had over the holidays and the resulting gap in communication. I discovered I can get on without a lot of her in my life. I actually thought maybe she needed the space from me, too, for her own benefit. I sent her a text which she actually answered to, and it stopped. But, at least I told her I missed her, was thinking of her, hoped she was well, and left it at that.

I'd like to thank my mom for texting me and checking up.

I'd like to thank my lovely little pup Marley for her companionship, love, laughs, arguments, and all she's added to my life. The senior puppy is getting up there in age and now has limited movements. I love her so, and she can keep going, but I know she is getting up there in age (11 years old). Wiener dogs can live up to 16 if they're super healthy.

I'd like to thank my crazy-ass mentor for lots of things: his wild-man energy, his smile, his hazel eyes. His humor, and especially holding space for me to where I could see what was really going on in that head of mine. I'm surprised people don't know more about trauma care or are trained in it.

Thank you.

A year has passed since my magical, mystery tour. I cried a little when I thought of that whirlwind tour. I then felt bad when I recalled that I sat in Heathrow airport and heard about the El Paso shooting had taken place. Not only did I get to acclimate to returning home too soon (news of another mass shooting), but this time, it was literally mi gente. No wonder I conveniently forgot about that part, it hit too close to me.

Another odd details: The day I arrived in London, Boris Johnson was elected, and their citzenry was just as shocked and dismayed as we were in our current POTUS was elected. I felt almost a dour feeling in the air. They also got a wicked heatwave (which are becoming much more common). Some very disturbed teen tossed a little kid off the observatory deck of a musuem I visited a day or two after I was there. Thank God The Netherlands was normal with the exception of its heatwave--

Normal-- what?? I was there for a psychedelics weekend and to see my first love. I legally bought truffles and took them back to my houseboat. That shit wasn't completely normal, either!

I have no idea of the effect it had on Jens Copperas, but he says 'hi' once in awhile so not getting ghosted is a good sign.

My heart still skips beats when I think about Glen Campbell's little hostel of sorts. I sure loved that little town and skipping around it. I saw pics of him and his people on social media, and I smiled.

I think I made much better sense of all of that trip (including the trips included within it, hahah). The thing I'm the most grateful for was the joy, curiosity, and wonder it all brought back to my life...

These aren't cases of being grateful for what little I've got, or be thankful in spite of what's happening. It's just one thank you to life, period.

downwind | upstream