Cafe Hitch-hike

2020-10-13

Steel Magnolia

So I had been having what felt like killer menstrual cramps, except I never bled and my lower back was hurting. With the slight hypochondriac tendencies I have, I naturally assumed the worse. But, the reality is it's probably this day and age's version of female hysteria or additional perimenopausal symptoms. I actually thought I was having a manifestation of anxiety and pandemic-related mental fatigue. It's just that I never had these things happen, ever, including the weird pooch that formed on top of my belly these last 2 weeks (which I attributed to Aunt Perri's many wonderful surprises on my body). And, I was tired.

The likelihood of this happening because of my dalliances with Donnie was very, very minimal, and that's all I'll say about that.

Fibroids, generic undetermined female changes, or ovarian cancer, which could it be? I hope I'm just having a mild freakout, and that it's anxiety and fatigue. I was so very grateful that Lady Doc's office was able to get me in for an ultrasound tomorrow. We will at least get a clue.


I am getting pandemic fatigue really bad. I went to some training last week, and my attention span was just shot. I actually signed out and fell asleep during some of the trainings (it was via video conference). I was also very tired and had killer headaches. I figured at the time that it was exhausting watching some of the dog and pony shows that are a part of these trainings. After a certain point of seeing the innovative and creative work done at other places, meeting the talented people they have, comparing these with ours, and thinking about the resources we have to do it, I cry inside. We actually had some Global South presenters give their point of view on things, and although I'm in the States, I could relate. We, too, have our have's and have-not's despite our apparent wealth.

I wasn't getting many pingbacks to my work, although my boss said I've gone above and beyond what was expected to me. They even suggested last month that I could chill out with my workload (the first time any supervisor in the building EVER probably said such a thing).

Well, at least the work resulted in something. I'll be thrown into the belly of a whale sometime soon since my Grand Pubah pulled me into a meeting with another Grand Pubah in our organization. The GP will be the lead and I'll chime in on little details and facts when necessary (speaking of which, I better prepare). It wouldn't hurt for my charm to get out a tad; once in a great while, males become a little courtly when they see a reasonably attractive female in these types of meetings. Maybe that's what my boss meant when they said it's good at times to be a Steel Magnolia in our field.


Has anything fun at least happened lately? Well I found a cool box turtle when I took a detour on a walk I took yesterday. I felt kind of dumb because I thought it would make a good addition to the wetlands and woodlands in my neighborhood, but I then discovered turtles shouldn't be relocated. I should had just took it across the street (it was attempting to cross a 4-lane road with a median, with a busy shopping plaza on the other side). When I made this discovery and decided to take the turtle near where I found it, the turtle was long gone. The turtle will just go back to where I found it. It was night, so at least traffic would be lighter and hopefully it would be more safe for the turtle to make its trek.

Yeah, I felt a little bad. My intentions were good, but maybe I harmed the turtle. Maybe it was my lesson to not assume I know what's best; just let something go in the direction it wanted and facilitate it (like maybe I should had just picked up the turtle and took it to the other side of the shopping plaza.

I guess I better get my ass back to work and attempt to do something like, prepare for the meeting with the GPs, or pet my puppy.

downwind | upstream