Cafe Hitch-hike


What I did last night

What I did last night (during the final hours of the U.S. election and perhaps its plutocratic democracy):

1. Bought a whole red-tailed snapper from the local grocery.

2. Blazed the joint I made for the vacay (but didn't need to blaze at that time).

3. Put on some great music, and sometimes sang and danced.

4. Remembered the very lovely men who used to be or are in my life with a simmering, savoring feeling. That really was all that could be done because anxiety snuffs the libido.

4a. Donnie dropped by for a little while, on his way home from running errands. We both acknowledged feeling fear and trepidation (and we are on different sides of the political spectrum), but he added it would be a dumpster fire for whoever won. But, we were able to relax a bit, talk, and laugh (see above statement about libido).

The smell of his Old Spice lingered on my sofa pillow that he leaned against.

5. Fileted the red-tailed snapper and made ceviche mixto.

5a. Realized that when I'm stressed, I like to cook very complicated or involved recipes. I'm tapped out with paella, so ceviche was a new thing.

5b. Recalled that I did just that at the beginning of the pandemic and when we were quarantined. Not only did I make myself some sumptuous meals, they were tapped off with Jameson and maybe some Blue Bunny Bunny Tracks ice cream.

Food... it is nurturing and homecooked stuff makes us feel warm and loved.

6. When I realized the damn ceviche would take 6 hours to cure and that I couldn't eat it right away, I then worked on some bean quesadillas.

7. Reblazed and sat on my patio and then the recliner, and let Boogaloo Joe Jones's guitar gently waft into my consciousness.

8. At various times during the night, I couldn't help but wonder, 'are the news outlets declaring a narrow electoral victory for Emperor Caligula? Did our country as we knew it just crumble?' All Americans are scared, and then I thought so was the world. This was a most unusual day in world history, seriously. Everyone watching and waiting with intense apprehension. What happens here has anything from a ripple to tide for the rest of the world, yikes! I'd then finish the thought with a sigh, followed by another drag or stare at the pond in the dark.

I took Puppy Dog outside, and I heard a quiet and stillness outside that was very unusual. I didn't even hear traffic, which is usual.

9. Ended up having a warm saltwater soak in the tub, and dragged myself into bed where I slept a very deep and heavy sleep, but my dreams were spotty and all over the place. When I woke up, the Old Spice-scented pillow was in my bed; I didn't remember putting it there.

I heard on a group text that Biden won Michigan. Their governor was a peer of mine and we ran in similar circles back in the day, and it personally horrified me to learn about the threats against her, not to mention the vicious attacks. Thank you, Michigami, for sticking it to the man (and I pray it's not contested) and standing by 'that woman.' My home state has been a wild card in every election since 1980, and if anything, I feel glad for that. I wonder what will be the big wild card in this "election?"

I was also taking the advice of one of my executive cabinet members who told me to think thoughts of love, peace, and the good of all people. I also did that between the little things I did last night to calm my nerves. Yes, we are vessels of energy, and I did poke that out into the ether... May peace and love prevail. May love conquer hate. May light penetrate the darkness. May curiosity replace ignorance, may conversations replace standoffs. May the better of us emerge and put our lower selves in place.

And yet, in the back of my mind, Mr. Peter Tosh says it best about how everyone's probably feeling...

downwind | upstream