Cafe Hitch-hike

2021-01-21

Once the cluster-f begins for real

Well, oh well. John Senior and I have gotten into a routine. He serves himself his meals as much as he can, and needs me to pick up after him and keep him company. He reads throughout the day, looks at his tablet, and shuffles his way throughout the house.

College John's cousin Cassie and I talked about when CJ is released from the hospital (maybe tomorrow). He was a lot worse than he led us to believe (with his oxygen levels being in the 60s and 70s, nicht so gut). Cassie also said some things about CJ's mental state. I know he's been having issues with depression, ADHD, and who knows what else, but she also noticed a change in his personality these past 2 years and is concerned about his ability to act on things. CJ's brilliant but his follow-through with home making things never was that good and seem to be getting worse.

We were concerned because all of these things may be getting in the way of taking care of his 81 year-old father and especially with taking care of himself. Cassie came here for the funeral of CJ's mother last summer, and she shared some details that concerned me (and that I was not aware of at the time).

Cassie and I mutually agreed on wanting CJ to hire help when he gets home. They can afford it but there's a high chance he'll be very resistant and won't do it. We're concerned that the house will be in the (hygienically) dismal shape it was in when she was last here, the dad will barely get the care he needs, and CJ will not recover well. We don't want this to enter the territory of elderly neglect or for CJ's health to get worse. We're just concerned that CJ, for whatever reason, can't see it that way at all.

I know that I'm doing what I can and of course I can't make CJ do anything he doesn't want. It's just kind of tiring to see this happening to a good friend and to be rather helpless. I've noticed some things about CJ for quite some time, but we've drifted apart. It's kind of a pain to see a friend struggle the way he has been, but at the same time, I've rarely seen him take firm action to make things different. And so it goes.

My attention has been shot. I've managed to do some work, especially on big projects, but once my required tasks are done, I have no attention. I asked my boss for 2 sick days because I don't feel I've given adequate attention to work, though she said to keep working remotely (or maybe she meant to mute my issues to other higher-ups). I've been tired, too. I'm praying I'm not catching something, but I've gotten plenty of rest and have been eating fairly well. I actually lost a little weight from this senior diet of soup, bread, fruit salad, and an occasional light sweet.

Just over half of the US can breathe a collective sigh of relief. Caligula has exited the building (the White House) like one seriously sore loser, and the people who latched onto him are pissed that their martial law revolution didn't happen (and a lot of them had trouble with the correct spelling of 'martial'). Caligula's family are working on relocating nearby. They will join all the other northeasterners who got sick of their region or wanted trade their frantic, unhappy lives for something more leisurely and light (only to infect the rest of us with their afflictions).

I feel concerned about some of the past allegations of our new head of state (which I guess weren't substantiated), yet his approach towards governance is reassuring. I'm also intrigued because the 'Veep' (to use Julia Dreyfus-Louis's show) is getting plenty of attention on so many things. I sense she's going to have a big part to play in this administration. I'm also so glad for her because she is a female and a person of color who holds a high office (again); maybe this will help people in my country and the world get used to seeing *and respecting* these combinations.

To see EDI (equity, diversity, and inclusion) matters be part of the first few things addressed through executive orders gave me pause. This was getting this kind of attention? I almost wanted to cry. Maybe there is hope, some hope after all. Oh, yeah... and how about EDI matters initiatives that address economic diversity? God knows the poor and underclass come in all shades of skin tone and also don't get opportunities.

I'm not even waiting for the political clusterfuck to begin. I'm just taking in this moment, too, and relishing it so I can be refreshed with this memory once the cluster-f begins for real.

downwind | upstream