Cafe Hitch-hike

2021-07-26

If I expected something, then it wouldn't be unexpected anymore, right?

This is a slightly revised version for my fall 2021 plans for work:

1. Do x number of training workshops for my employer, some for students and some for the staff.
2. Finish the 2 online courses I'm now taking.
3. Assist my former department with tasks where my foot's in the door but without the work being on my back.
4. Buy stuff for the building and reach out to the charming elderly international scholar who's assigned to work work with me on this.
5. Apply for That One Program (holds breath, waits for lightening to strike me; oh, it didn't. Yet).
6. Expect any other unexpected merde.

I had my bi-monthly meeting with my boss and it helped me flesh out these details. They said I was under no obligation whatsoever to help my former department on squat, which was kind of a relief. It's not that I didn't want to help them since they are extremely short-staffed, I didn't want them to lean on me (or better yet, devour my mojo) like they had in the past.

Since my hopes for another job didn't fall through, I decided to apply for That One Program I've been pondering for 2 years. I think I have enough motivation and interest and reason to do it. I noticed I had multiple options for working with it, and options were all right with me!

Expect any other unexpected merde. If I expected something, then it wouldn't be unexpected anymore, right? Well, it's more like I need to expect something I didn't plan on happening, more or less. Oh, my neurotic little head easily generated a few things. I also noted that 99.8% of similar thoughts never came true. It could be anything from health scares or matters, or those of my family, or something catastrophic happening to the region (flood, storm, etc-etc-etc). Well, how about something unexpected like I meet the love of my life, it's viable, and they're fully available? Heheh!!!

I could use a good distraction, too. Nothing like focusing on things to keep my brain from wandering down dark alleys! Maybe seeing the turtle hatchlings make it to sea was a nice sign (see below).

I was given an invite to New York by Huck for a long weekend visit. After thinking over what he told me about his life up there, I told him I would take a rain check. I really do want to visit but said I was not comfortable with the way things currently are there. He was a little upset and said he really wanted to see me, but he understood and didn't ask for more information.

I unexpectedly felt a sense of relief. I may have my opinions about his life, but his life is his to handle. It was nice that he invited me to see more of it and even meet his favorite son, but I still wasn't comfortable with getting my hands in it. When he first told me the details of his everyday life and the conditions that made them happen, I told him those things were going to get in the way of any connection he wanted to make with anyone else. I guess at the time I didn't add, '...especially if you want an advanced one with me.' At the end of the conversation, I saw that I drew a line and something in me felt lighter and more clear.

I've been waking up early these past 3 weeks or so, and yesterday was no exception. My body pulled me out of bed, and when I noticed the weather, I knew what I had to do.

Yesterday was a near-perfect beach day. The heat index actually was tolerable and the ocean waves were smooth. I grabbed my snorkel, mask, and fins and headed to the beach! I didn't know a local beach had a lot of artificial reefs! I saw so much sea life: nurse sharks, a huge manta ray, lots of fish (angel-, parrot-, ciclids, and so much more). I saw a school of tarpon where the average fish was 4 feet long! The current wasn't oppressive, so I swam against it, and then turned around to let it gently carry me back to where I started (when scuba divers do this, it's called drift diving); it was nice drift snorkeling.

The best part was the beach. A young lady and I watched 20 turtle hatchlings make their way to the ocean, kind of like this:

downwind | upstream