Cafe Hitch-hike

2009-07-01

Regardless

**Shrugs** I don't know what to say about this, though I know I told myself I wasn't going to do this again. I had been through it before, and I told myself it would not happen again.

Jim is older than me (again) and I know I didn't want to go out with anyone with an age difference of more than 12 years again.

But what can I say? He's been caring and warm towards me since we've gotten to know each other better. It appeals to me. I liked it. A part of me really opened up to it and allowed him into my life.

I said to him over the weekend that he cares for me in a way I've always wanted to be cared for.

I don't know how much longer this may or may not last. Who the hell knows? Anything can happen. As long as we're good to each other and it's not an act, why the hell shouldn't things be well, regardless of whether or not it lasts?

I guess I'm a little weary for a repeat. Detroit John was considerably older than me. Those closest to me or knew me very well, interestingly enough, could see why we were together. Those who weren't were puzzled. I know that a few people thought it was very strange we were together. I'm sure the same may happen again with me going out with Jim because of our age difference.

Who cares? As long as I'm happy with us being together, right? I decided to reciprocate attention because I liked talking to him, and because I liked his warmth towards me. I found it to be comforting, enjoyable, and stimulating at times. I like him because he's like having a very good friend that I can kiss on the lips and hold his hand!

Let's see... we've known each other since October and then started going out in February, and then started seeing each other more in June. It's been almost a month but we've really gotten to know each other in the past 5.

I guess now it feels funny because it is more like a relationship. He's meeting more of my people, and he's told his people about me. He's even come to my work a couple times to meet me for lunch!

It's just that it bothers me that I told myself not to date anyone that much older than me, and I met someone who cares for me the way I wanted to be cared for. We interact with each other in a way that feels very comfortable, too. And gosh, he sure seems to understand what I've shown of myself so far.

One thing that occurred to me is it's good that I found someone like that, regardless of their age. It's too bad I haven't met anyone closer to my own who's been able to do that and give a rip at the same time, let alone be available for a relationship.

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