Cafe Hitch-hike

2004-03-18

American beauty???

I added yet another activity to my beauty (?) repertoire. I got my poofy, wavy, coarse hair relaxed! I went to CVS to buy a straightener and then (mis)treated my hair a couple nights later.

To get psyched, I put on Blondie's "Pretty Baby". So there I was, stroking the solution deeper into each strand with the back of the comb when Deborah Harry sang:

You, you with the comb
You look OK in every way (every way)
Ah, I should have known
You'd look at me and look away (and look away - oh)

The chemicals were stinging the hell out of my scalp, and left a burn on one of my earlobes. The solution smelled foul and then I had to do a contortion act to get my head under the bathtub faucet. Through all this, I was damning the American standard of beauty. Dammit, why did those anorexic bitches and producers of "Friends" make the anorexic body and rail-straight hair so popular? My hair was born poofy and dark, so why should I subject myself to straightening torture just because my hair isn't like Jennifer Aniston's? Why should I subject myself this standard of beauty? Why?

I'll tell you why. I was looking at pictures of myself from the past and my hair looked like a rat's nest. I was looking at pictures from when I was an undergrad and it didn't look like a brush touched my hair in years. Of course, that's not true, but it's just that my hair is aggressive and also sensitive. The weather has to be absolutely perfect for the natural curl to come through. No wind, low humidity, and for goodness sakes, no rain or snow! My hair isn't like Sis Beads, that is, natural curls a la Nicole Kidman.

Twenty minutes later, I rinsed the noxious chemicals from my hair, dried it, and voila! Smooth, straight hair! Well, one side of my head had slight wave but certainly not as unmanageable as before! Otherwise, it was laying down! Lord have mercy! My hair was behaving!

I was rather pleased with the relaxing process. However, it was painful and time-consuming. When I think about beauty and what it is most people are born having and growing into, why is it that the standard of beauty is usually what isn't natural? Why does it take so much time? This lady I work with got microabrasion on her face, and then she works out about 1 1/2 hour every day. She looks like she just stepped out of a magazine, but goodness, it's like she's a slave to her repertoire. Another person I work with has been on a diet for the past 7 years and has a part-time job at the weight-loss clinic to reinforce her dieting stuff. She totally freaks out whenever she sees a donut or junk food because she's afraid to eat it, though she likes it.

I've usually taken the natural approach to beauty and try to reassure myself that what's inside is better and as long as I take good care of my health, that's what's best. However, this is gradually changing. I don't know why I've become so much more conscious of my appearance... Since I've moved to the Detroit area I've started dressing and styling myself differently. Is it because I'm no longer in my early 20s? Am I afraid of aging? Am I afraid of becoming undesirable or feeling behind the times? Maybe I'm changing my styling because I'm still single (hahah) and maybe I haven't found anyone because of the way I look? Maybe it's a combination of all that or some of it. I don't know.

When I think of beauty, maybe it works the same was as economics. What is in short supply has the highest value? The product that is most difficult to obtain or has the longest process for its creation is the most expensive? I don't know... I don't know...

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