Cafe Hitch-hike


Token applicant

Dear Library Directors and Search Committees Far and Wide:

If you see my resume and cover letter, I hope it convinces you that I have the qualifications to do the job. I hope it piques your interest. If you get the chance to meet me, then I hope you will see that my abilities and personalities suit your organization. I also hope your interest means you have a genuine desire to make me a viable candidate.

However, if you have already picked your man (or woman) for the job, please disregard my application. If you already have a person predestined for your position, do not call me. I know that the law states you have to interview candidates and yada-yada-yada, but please give me some respect by not calling me. Please by-pass my app. if you have already chosen your assistant or whoever.

Do no, I repeat, DO NOT chose me to be your cardboard applicant because I (made the stupid choice of) marking "Hispanic/Latino" on the EEOC application. Respect my wishes, respect my ambitions. I do not want to get my hopes high and make plans if I'm just going to be the fucking token applicant.

Just go away. JUST go away, you assholes! This has happened twice already, so all I have to say from here on out is FUCK OFF!




Big Boss broke the news to me when I came into the university library this morning. He seemed more saddened than me. We do work well together. If I stayed in the area, we would still be able to do some work together. If I got the job at the nearby university, we could "stay" together.

He even gave me a hug and said some reassuring words. "You are one of the most intelligent people I've worked with. I really want you to be able to find a good fit. Don't worry, you will find it. You really will."

Big Boss has worked with zillions of people in the zillion years he's been a librarian. I took the first part as a compliment.

I sighed inside. It was like he knew what I was thinking. Yes, I've been thinking about joining the hemorraging population of librarians who leave the profession for the corporate sector. All of these applications over the past year, rejection letters that at times were as common as junk mail. The times I've received interviews for full-time work, it's a confirmed fact in 2 of the 3 times there was someone pre-chosen.

Note to self: DO NOT check the "Hispanic/Latino" box in the EEOC box. Perhaps it will reduce the times I'm chosen to be cardboard, token applicant.

Although my buddy Max had to wait 3 years before he got a job as a teacher (and had to take care of a wife and kids on a supply teacher's salary, yikes), things worked out for him. He loves his job and has been in it for 18 years. He stuck it out because he loves what he does. But what about me?? What about me???

At least I still have the interview at the end of the month in Florida. At least. I don't know if I'm a fucking token candidate for that one too, but dammit, at least I'm getting a free trip with rental car for a couple days!

And life goes on.

downwind | upstream