Cafe Hitch-hike

2018-01-05

On a much better note

Quiet Friday evening in the Cannabis Condo. It's too cold to relax on the patio with a spliff or a little wine (or both), so Marley and I are parked on the sofa.

The week was nothing that I expected. Since Xanadu Tech did not have classes this week, I thought it would be quiet. No, I was very busy at work. This wasn't the usual catching up or getting ahead with things. It was actually pushing some pretty big things back into motion. I had to make 3 presentations and then plan another with Lily, which we will be doing later this month. My department also has some pretty big initiatives to move on, or else we will look very bad if we don't.

My boss told me one of the co-workers I feuded with last year complained that I took over a task assigned to her. I told him I saw where she was coming from, but that I was never aware she was assigned to do that and had never seen her do anything with it. The co-worker is very territorial on tasks where she hadn't done squat for long periods of time.

I then had an unusually social time with the arrival of some cousins who made a brief and unexpected visit here for warmth. They were getting sick of the blah weather in Michigan and since they both had the week off, they decided to make a 3-day jaunt this way (we had cold weather, too, so they were a little disappointed)! I just so happened to call them while they waited for their departure at the Detroit Metro on New Year's Day.

"We're so glad you called," they exclaimed. "We didn't call because we figured you were out with yo' man or in Jamaica!" Hahahah!

The visit was probably the best part of the holiday. I had a couple of late-nights with them. On one of those nights, I had a really long talk with one of them, the kind that winds through the wee-hours of the morning (and then I had to get to work in the a.m.!). She asked me about something that happened a few years ago because she heard bits and pieces but never knew how things turned out.

Thinking and talking about those things brought out a lot of emotion that I did not expect. I expected the sense of loss and sadness which I always knew were there, but then feelings of warmth and caring emerged that I thought were lost. I was quite surprised! I guess I can say I'm not completely aloof and cool-hearted as I suspected if I could remember and feel that way again. It also brought back parts of me that I thought I couldn't reach.

Yeah, the loss and sadness were easy to recall, but the warmth and sense of caring? Feeling those again made me feel more like a woman and more-- complete, like these were things I was meant to feel on a regular basis.

It was also an interesting moment of bonding with my younger cousin. I told her my truth and experience, and I sensed a soft hold of attentiveness from her. It felt like she was taking in my experience to think about it for herself.

Seeing the cousins was such a wonderful surprise! If any of my relatives could move to this area, I'd wish it was them, but their immediate family is way too tight-knit for anyone to wander from the nest for too long. Their mother actually called me to ask to look after them although they are well into their 20s and have street smarts.

I'm taking steps to getting back into my full groove sans a boyfriend. I'm just pleasantly surprised how little things are falling into place that are pushing me along. No, it's not like I'm waiting for them to happen but in a way, I'm kind of conjuring them (hahahah), doing my part, and then something appears! I'm glad to say I'm starting the year on a much better note. I'm enjoying the direction things seem to be taking.

downwind | upstream