Cafe Hitch-hike

2018-08-24

It happens in threes (update)

One of the heaviest drinkers in my family was diagnosed with colon cancer that spread to his outer liver. Uncle Joe starts his chemo next week.

His alcoholism got progressively worse in the last 15 years, and our regular conversations started turning into drunk dials. He hadn't been looking good at all these past 2 years, and it made me cringe to say the least... it wasn't pleasant at all to see one of my main caregivers seem to drink himself to death, or to see his personality change the way it did. I alsi missed... him. Yes, I missed him, him telling me to look after myself, and talking with him!

My mom had been silent these past 3 weeks and something about it was different than her usual spells. She is looking aftrt Uncle Joe and he now stays with her.

Uncle Rey decided to start chemo for his prostate cancer. He initially decided not to do anything (one possible outcone of its treatment is losing certain functions of the penis), but changed his mind after being told he was looking at a year to live if he didn't.

My step-grandma Juanita's lung cancer spread and she was given an estimate of 6 to 12 months to live. She is 82. I guess if I'm wondering why my sis Princ had also been silent lately, there it is. I text her here and there, but I'll hear from her once her feelings reach a boiling point.

It happens in threes, and here it goes again.

Update: Uncle Joe is dying. No one has told me the prognosis or how long. I remember he called me 10 days ago and told me I was his beneficiary. I joked, "ok, so that means I get to make sure your debts are paid and you have a nice party when you pass." The part he didn't tell me was how long he expects to go.

In the meantime, I'll look up a decent estate lawyer in Austin (where he lives) to help make the legal notices, find a place where he can get cremated (his wishes, which he said), and then plan to bury half of his ashes next to his mother's site in the Rio Grande Valley in the cemetery next to the cotton field, and half of them next to his father's father's site in our river valley hometown. He loved his parents very much. And, I'll somehow arrange a Catholic funeral mass or find a deacon who can give us a service.

He is staying with my mother, and that is very appropriate. She was more of a mother to him than his own. He was there for my mother with all of her changes, including when she suspected she was preggers with me. Now, she is there for his.

My family is devastated, especially my cousins who are his surrogate kids. For his siblings, it's too soon because they lost their mother last year. And me, what the fuck? Another one of the main men in my life will be stepping out of this one! I think I may need to take extended leave or find a way.

No, it does not get any easier. But, I told my cousins that the way we feel is proof that we have hearts and that we've lived the hell out of life!

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