Cafe Hitch-hike

2024-01-14

Shelter in the storm

I had to clean up the house after this past Friday night. A half-finished michelada, the bones remaining from chicken wings, and a wood bowl with crumbs of tortilla chips lingered on the kitchen counter. I had (then-)freshly squeezed lime juice in a measuring cup that went unused. The air fryer was somewhat oily from the chicken quarters I decided to cook up after we ate up the chicken wings and while we got a little sloshed and sang karaoke. I had to wipe the ashes from the bit of cannabis I consumed.

I noticed before people came over that the neighbors with units that adjoined mine were gone. I later stepped outside with a friend who wanted a cigarette and didn't see their cars in their spaces; a few people in my side of the building have this as a winter home and don't always stay here for the whole season. That was better, that meant we wouldn't have noise complaints.

It reminded me of the nights Huck came over and things like this happened. We didn't sing but we'd talk, laugh and smoke to the backdrop of classic reggae and a world falling apart around us. I'd usually dance in the living room and eventually got him to once. Now that I recall, I (or we) didn't dance for more than 2 songs; I was content to dance more, but he proposed other things.

As I cleaned up from the recent gathering, I smiled, just like I did after those cleanups from almost 3 years ago. I woke up feeling a little groggy, with a slight buzz, and quite content. I brewed up some coffee, lit up, and cleaned again.

During that past time, it occurred to me that the covid, lockdowns, and mayhem really dissolved or at least relaxed a lot of expectations. I was open to dating a guy who was over 1,000 miles away (when I usually preferred someone near) and Huck was willing to date a female who was almost as tall as him (he preferred them shorter). I suspected we relaxed our usual expectations and deal-breakers during that time.

Avery and I likely would not had dated each other in normal times (pre-relaxed expectation days, hahah), but there we were, merrymaking in my living room.

Huck said more than once that what we had was like a shelter in a storm. Yeah, I felt the same. Considering that the world now seems to be fracturing deeper and in other forms than 3 years ago, I guess Av, some pals, and I reenacted that shelter. What we all did were natural human expressions, but I suspected we also let down our guards to embrace it while we had the chance.

'Shelter in the storm.' I now suppose it was not abnormal for me to had felt very anxious after everyone could return to work (and the grief of discovering Huck was a huckster on many levels). We had that shelter in the storm, and once it was decommissioned, we had to deal with new realities.

Three years later, the shelter was recommissioned. As for Avery, my companion, we know each other very well and probably down to our deadly sins, hahaha.

The shelter was needed for all the levels of fuckery. I had to recently stop listening to the news and especially at the local and regional levels.

Work has also brought on its own levels of fuckery. This past week was spent cleaning up messes mostly left behind by others. I can't even explain. When I talked with colleagues from other places in the building, they were in the same situations. Some got far behind with their routine tasks because they were too busy trying to fix problems.

I had to untangle 2 very complicated issues. The first was disciplining an employee. I thought people were going to hate me for it. Discipline has been very lax for a long time, and some people got away with very blatant things, but to my surprise, they did not. Even the person that needed the discipline seemed relieved. The sad thing is their supervisor was already on a form of probation and in danger of a demotion; this just increased their chances, but then again, I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't.

The second f-ery was an ongoing project I recently joined. It has long been another project-from-hell due to a problem child employee, the same one who did an awful project 2 summers ago; gee, I think we see a pattern. I looked at the problem child's job contract / description and noticed it did not say they had the authority they claimed over the project. When I communicated this to others, they let out a huge sigh of relief and became eager to work on it again. I need to finalize this with the PC and their problematic supervisor and hopefully this concludes if not heals this years-long pox.

I guess they are starting to look at hiring a permanent person to my temporary assignment. I applied for it, but I heard other very viable people also did, including 2 people in the building. I already figured that's gonna be another awful process and I asked to not be told about anything. I kind of don't care if I don't get the permanent position, though I'll miss the extra dinero it's been giving me, but I won't miss the headaches. Heck, maybe there's something better for me? Hahahahah!!

In better news, my sis Cindy won another cruise from the casino she frequents. I don't quite think it's a "win" but rather an offer from the cruise line that considerably reduces the price (instead of paying almost $4,000 for 2 people, it's half or less if we don't take too many frills). Cindy and I decided we will try for late November (Thanksgiving) and hit the lower Caribbean like Curcao, St. Maarten, and maybe Belaire. Cindy will need some sunlight around that time and we've both never been to that part of the sea. We travelled well for the last one where we went to the Virgin Islands and eastern Caribbean. For that one, Cindy was thrown off by the mandatory daily tips and fees attached to everything, but she was very willing to do a second cruise now that she is more hip to its charges.

I am really leaning in the direction of taking a trip / retreat to Asia that my cousin Fran is organizing. She is the one who I helped with our genealogy. Fran had done this before and was really putting a lot into its promotion. I was invited but I was hesitant because I wasn't sure it was quite my crowd; I feel suspicious about spiritual retreats or events with huge price tags, like it's a commercialization of the whole thing.

What swayed me was Fran's posts about the retreat's effects on her. She described some things about her former marriage that I did not know and something about that make me reconsider. Even if the event turns out to be for boujee, New Age females, well... it is in a place I've always wanted to see. I don't know if I'll get the effect she described, but I'm also considering it because it seems connected it to a longer chain of events...

It began when Fran posted a divination card with a Native American theme, and I asked her if she was aware of that in our roots. She said she wasn't and asked for more information. Long story short, it led her to pursue membership in an organization with our very distant relatives. I helped her with the genealogy because I had some information. I guess also in the process, she also started communicating more with Fawn, her younger, paternal half-sister. The cousin also started to interact with her estranged father little by little.

With that, I guess it is something I will follow since Fran and her younger sis followed something I gave them. I dunno, a trip to Asia seems to far-fetched to me, but it's not like I'm planning a trip to the moon.

Ok, something feels weird about being in my sleepwear into the afternoon and I have homework to do. I'm taking another course and am 1/3 done with my program. I'm glad for the progress but I cry and wish I made the decision to do this 2 or 3 years ago! Anyhow, I remind myself how this investment had immediate rewards and that it will hopefully put me into a better place or with more options in my career (and financial well-being) down the road (universe willing!).

downwind | upstream