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Diaryland

2003-12-23

X-Mas

Tomorrow, I make my way to the snowy region of my hometown. I'm surprised that the metro Detroit area gets 30 less inches of snow each year! When I first moved here, I went home for the holidays and was the only person on my block with snow and salt on my car; there was very little snow in town at that time!

I was going to make my homecoming a whole two days but it's gonna be one. I'm very tired and just want to vegg at my own place. I cancelled tonight's dinner with the Big Boss because I was sick of him and I wasn't up for socializing besides.

I'm covering another maternity leave day for one of my co-workers. The semester's over... The only people coming in are the homeless people and students here for academic advising. The university administration unwisely decided to put the busiest office on campus in the farthest, most obscure corner of this building.

I am going to visit the Moe Family (the family of my half-sister and her deceased mother). They are always nice people to be around for the holidays. I'm so thankful for them because they renewed my faith in family and in holidays, so much more than they know. I'm also going to pay a visit to sister A2 and her 4 weasley kids. I think I'll do this all on Christmas Day. Christmas morning is really for the kids with all that gift-giving, anyhow, or at least it has been that way for me.

It just doesn't feel like Christmas this year to me. Last year, I was wigging out because of my relatives and spending time with them. As it turned out, it was a nice Christmas and there were many fun gatherings. I had no reason to fret after all. Now this year, I'm just not feeling so jolly. It's not because of my relatives. I'm just so mentally fatigued from my jobs...

My doctor (who has the world's worst beside manner and doesn't treat his patients with much dignity) actually wished me well today, and said it with a sincerity that shocked me. So to him I said back:

"Thank you. Have a happy holiday and new year."

My Christmas wish is to feel full of energy again, to feel like I can give others something of myself for once, and be refreshed with the care and love of others.