Cafe Hitch-hike


Goodbye to '17

10 Things to Leave in 2017:

1. Social anxiety and how it clobbers me in various situations.

2. The way things didn't work out with Rafa. **Sniffs**

3. Thoughts of past things that may keep new things from forming.

4. Debt.

5. Doubt. Interesting how its spelling is similar to 'debt.'

6. Fear.

7. Bad leadership and news. Yeah, people still look up to leaders despite our individualistic, social media driven culture.

8. Anhedonia, although that wasn't an issue for me this year like it was in 2016.

9. Not being authentic: instead, be real for better (doing things I like) and not so well (not doing things I don't like).

10. Obsessions about work (though those did diminish considerably).

I'm writing these things on a slip of paper and then setting it on fire. I did this back when ringing in 2007 when I still lived in Gulf Bluff. Did it work? Yeah, I'd say it did!

Got home safely from Texas. The ride back was so much better than heading in. I was surprised I had much more energy when I returned than when I went there. Since my energy wasn't up to par to start, I guess it wouldn't be as invigorating. The family stressed me out a lot, but my buds lifted me. I loved riding along the Gulf bluffs while listening to Southern rock and then eventually The Dead. They always take me to such an interesting space in my head. I would had loved to do that trip on a Harley! However, I was still glad I made the trip.

It felt weird to come back to an empty house although I was in touch with other friends. I really felt like my arrival back home was my true arrival to-- unattached life. I can hardly wait. I suppose I can see it as either learning about new things, people, and places or just coasting along with friends with benefits or fair-weather friends. I do actually have some halfway productive activities to do this year that have little to do with the aforementioned possibilities and "friends." At least I can say that not all of my friends were awful. Many of them were interesting people, and gosh, we cared about each other.

It was weird to go elsewhere and not stop at a Harley shop and get Remy a gift. I was tempted to stop at one, but I didn't. It was something I did for him, and he is no longer with us. I decided to leave that in the past.

Now I'm making black eyed peas in the hip new cooking apparatus my sis and her family got me for Christmas. I also cooked Southern style corn bread. I should had made some cobbler or flambe, but I suppose I can still set food on fire tomorrow to ring in the new year.

I also will shoot off those killer fireworks I shot off with my niece (hahahahah!!). Nothing bonds people like fire or blowing shit up.

Since I began with "things to leave," how about "things to arrive in 2018?"

1. Money.

2. Luck.

3. Love. A toast to money, luck, and love is common in the Dominican Republic. I once made the toast out of order (love, luck, and money) and I was corrected. The order I just presented was the corrected order!

4. Good health and affirmation of life. Includes mental health!

5. Happy travels.

6. Giving thoughts of peace and joy to those around me.

7. Feeling thoughts of peace and joy so I can give those to others.

8. Friendship and acceptance.

9. An openness to life.

10. An ability to ride life the best I can, and the ability to get back on the horse when I'm thrown off it!

Happy new year to all of you near and far! Thanks for following me this year and sharing your worlds with me! May this year be a happy year for all of us!

downwind | upstream