Cafe Hitch-hike


Time and trips of many types

The bottom of one of my lenses is clouded by the wetness from my dog's little kiss. I guess she wanted to try kissing my glasses, heheh.

Last night, I tried rapeh (sacred ceremonial snuff) which I do about every 2 weeks when the Moon is right. This was something I got from one of last year's retreat. I found a reliable place to order it and received it after last Christmas. I worked with someone who showed me how to self-administer it and finally did it for myself. Wow, oh wow... It's mostly a blend of powdered tree barks and some plants (depending on the tribe that makes it) and it seriously hit me hard. So hard that I felt wiped out for 2 days! They say that rapeh energetically cleanses, and considering all the wild, weird energy that flowed at the final quarter of last year, yeah, I'd say I carried some heavy energies or at least their residues! This happened the first few times I took it over the course of a few weeks, so I lowered the dose and didn't feel beat up.

The point of it really wasn't to feel awful, but to use it for meditation. I usually have a paper journal near where I either write or doodle at the end. I've gotten some excellent insights that would had taken longer to reach my conscious.

So I did the rapeh last night. I then had a dream that I made it to Russia. Russia? This has been a reoccurring dream for a long time; I started dreaming of this maybe in 2006 or so. I was supposed to fly to Russia on extremely short notice. Sometimes I didn't have my ticket or passport, or went to the wrong terminal or gate. Sometimes I couldn't get through security, or was late. I made it on the plane a couple of times and they were never comfortable rides. One time we had to turn around because of bad weather (and I was unprepared to travel anyway), and for another I was heading there in the winter and I didn't have winter wear. I landed in Russia a couple of times, thinking, "oh, fuck! What will I do now? How long do I have until I go home?" I didn't have money, a place to stay, a plan, and didn't know the language!

What was different about last night? I was in Russia and stayed in their version of a suite in a Holiday Inn. I looked out the window and it sure didn't look like America. I had clothes and what I needed. I made it and I was prepared? This was a first! I was in a bathrobe supplied by the hotel with my wet hair in a towel, and I was sipping coffee; it was morning and I felt fine. I didn't realize I was with a group of people until they knocked in my door; I never seen them before but they knew me. A couple of them were laughing and in good spirits, speaking both Russian and English with ease. They asked me to get ready so we could go out.

We took a tour of an unknown city. We walked through some neighborhoods and ended up in an orthodox church through a back entrance. A nun and priest offered us a ceremony which I thought was beautiful. They didn't want to do such an impromptu ceremony, yet were eager to provide one so we could see what was like. After it was finished, the group and I stepped on the front steps of the church and sat for a bit. I was surprised to see its exterior was black but with the towers and domes. Next to me was my cousin Gabe, his mom Aunt Tish, and his 2 teenaged kids. I was soooo glad to see them.

"I didn't know you were heading this way!" I exclaimed. I was stunned. This went beyond synchronicity for us to end up next to each other halfway around the world without making plans! They didn't say anything but were surprised and also glad to see me.

I haven't really been able to piece together what this dream could mean. I never planned to visit Russia, though it seems to be a fascinating place with a deep history and many cultures. As a place and culture, it was far removed from what I saw growing up, but its influence was not. I came of age at the end of one round in the ongoing US - USSR nuclear dick size contest that the world watched with apprehension. Interestingly, one friend's parents travelled there in July 1991, right after we graduated from high school and before the country's dissolution. Their house had stickers with words in Cyrillic and then in English on random things like doors, walls, and other parts of their furnishings so they could practice the language.

Maybe the dream has to do with me getting to know something remote, rivalrous, with the potential of mutually assured destruction, and finally managing to traverse it, getting to know it, and having friends and loved ones along the way. There's a positive spin, but I need to let that brew because I'm sure there's more to that. I forgot the church was black colored until I wrote this; that should add considerable intrigue.

Besides having a fascinating dream (and it sounds like the type of trip I'd like to have), I was wiped out the next day from the rapeh. In a way, it was good because I was too tired to busy myself with much. I slowed down enough to realize my upcoming women's retreat was around the corner, oh my! I then considered making preparations for the retreat, including the discipline I'd have to undertake towards my diet, mindset, and other things to prepare. This includes eating bland, unprocessed, and natural foods; no spices or caffeine (thank God I'm working remotely so no one can see that); no sex or self-gratifying; and limit news, media, and overstimulating information.

Time is flying by so damn fast. I can't believe tomorrow is already Thursday. The days kind of blur together at times, and that was part of the reason to go on the retreat. I needed to take a different perspective, and I felt I was ready to go back.

So, the plant medicine slowed me down so I could pay attention to a few things, and so I can prepare. I am preparing so I can make the best out of the retreat, and to see what I can learn this time around.

Maybe in my next reoccurring dream, I'll be taking Russian language classes or going further into this metaphorical realm? We'll see.

downwind | upstream