Cafe Hitch-hike

2022-07-06

Apocalypse Not Quite

My visit to Michigan was cancelled last mid-month and in lieu of taking 10 days off, I took 3 leisurely days. My visit to Kentucky for the 4th of July was cancelled due to transportation issues, so I took leisurely days at home. I was a little bummed I didn’t get to go see people. I really wanted to feel the Michigan hills under my feet and breathe in its air, and I couldn’t wait to see my friend since visiting his place is usually nice as visiting family. But, I quietly thanked whatever it was that made those things not happen because being home and doing little (not even puttering around the house) was nice.

I got to meet a guy who sells various types of plant medicine, and I got to spend some of my days off there. Oh, he’s one yummy fella but alas, nothing happened beyond some benign ceremonies that I found unusually cleansing. He administers kambo and had other legal (sadly, hahah) medicines. I took kambo almost 3 years ago after ayahuasca. Although kambo doesn’t cause trips, it definitely clears out the clutter and brings what’s what to the front and top of the line. It had the same effect on me.

I figured I could use some clearing after the series of collisions I saw around me in the last month. It didn’t impact me badly but Mom, sisters, nieces, friends… I sometimes wonder if the ayahuasca ever wore off and I’m still tripping but nooooo, methinks it’s the new reality. The clearing did a lot of good, and he sold me some sacred snuff (known as hapeh) that I used once a week (if that) to deepen my mediation.

I made it clear to the guy that if he got the good stuff (which is hard to come by nowadays since aya is being over-harvested) to let me know. Sure, I’d love to meet the queen of plant medicines and see what she has to show me, if anything new, different, or to humble me again with a wacky trip.

This year feels so much less fun than last year. Then again, I was prancing through a haze. Anything would feel less fun than that. I wondered if I am depressed, and the answer I got was ‘maybe just a little, but not like you had been in the past’. I can be grateful for that, for sure. I think most people feel this way. I notice that for others and regardless of where they live, there’s an underlying sense of impending unraveling.

I dunno, I don’t think the world will end. Change, yes, but not end or at least not most places (hah). I think of how different things seemed last year and the year before that compared to this one, and reading something pre-Covid feels like a time long passed. I look at web pages and things before then and wonder what we’ve learned or know after all of that. I don’t think anything is the same, I don’t think we see things the same.

It makes me think of civilizations that were on a cusp or threshold. I don’t think any of them ever really knew what was going to come or had a very incomplete view.

Here in the States, people are worried about food shortages. Well, I joked that as long as we have enough beans, rice, lard and flour, we can never starve. I imagine I could live on less if need be, but I doubt my countrypersons could ever do such a thing. But what about other shortages like gas and energy that we’ve enjoyed at artificially low prices for a very long time? Oh, boy, it would suck to live down here without air conditioning (that takes up lots of energy). What about gasoline or petrol? I think people would revolt if they had to take mass transportation or not drive a SUV. If we lose that, then we lose everything every American stood for and what veterans died for, right? Our freedom for conspicuous consumerism? Degrade nature in the name of profit? Attempt to fill the holes in our soul from individual and collective trauma with various types of stuff?

Alrighty then, I think the American apocalypse will look something like that last paragraph. Recent high court rulings dragged us backwards 50 years and will continue to drag us more, so things will follow in kind. I visited places that didn’t have electricity for parts of the day, what if that happened here? Intermittent or no internet? I’m more afraid of that effect on the populace (and especially children and the young) than guns.

What else? The apocalypse would also involve my country being a very loose confederacy. Yee ha, the rebels won the war after all. If I plan to go to the territories of the Great Lakes and the Republic of Texas to visit family, I hope they accept my visa from my region of the Great Kingdom of _____ (surname of a state-level political overlord). Better yet, I hope I qualify to travel, and that’s assuming I remain a free person with the right to dwell in the kingdom.

I always enjoyed authors like Vonnegut and others who wrote what I considered social fiction. Now I get to indulge in it, but it’s sobering to wonder what may or may not happen, no matter how ridiculous it seems. Cue in me crying if any of my ridiculous statements come true.

Okay, I sound like I’m cracking up but maybe I’m not. I’m a little tired thanks to a project at work that is a necessary evil. It already drained a lot out of me and I’ve only been back for one day. I’m also aware that ‘apocalypse’ is being used in its colloquial definition rather than its actual one (meaning an unveiling or uncovering of truth, not the end of the world). I’d love to see a discussion of the term, the Book of Revelations, and what they say is likely to be the most accurate use and context of the term.

Unveiling… as they say, eyes not used to light are sore when seeing it for the first time. So what is it we are really seeing but can’t make out quite yet? Maybe the reason Mother Aya scared the bejeezus out of me 3 years ago was to prepare me for this because I must admit, real life feels just as surreal and unsettling as the journey had at times.

downwind | upstream