Cafe Hitch-hike

2023-12-07

More notes from before the apocalypse

Last spring, Avery bought a karaoke machine that I keep in my living room of my Patio Lounge. I then some light strips to put on the cornice above the patio window and some on the low but long bookshelf under the TV (wall mounted). They complement the stripof lights in the kitchen that my cousin Drew installed last year.

I got out of my karaoke slump and finally was nudged to songs after 2000, hah! I continue with my torch songs, or those that remind me of something or someone. I sang Cee Lo Greens’s ‘F* You’ with gusto, channeling the feelings I had for those in the past who dumped me for something better. I channelled my inner Jim Morrison with ‘Roadhouse Blues,’ a song that reminds me of my times in the Dirty South. I sang a song by Ozzy and Lita that reminded me of that freezing-fucking cold hometown of mine (but the song rocks!).

Before he left, Av introduced me to The Rolling Stone’s latest works including where they perform a song with Lady Gaga (Av has serious man-crushes on Bowie and Jagger). I really enjoyed their all-around performance.

We did karaoke for a bit until we relaxed, and then ended up on the sofa. I drank too much wine, then Avery went home so he could go to work early tomorrow. The light strips are still on. The Christmas garlands with lights that add to the ambiance.

The semester is just about over. Everyone has been sick. I had bronchitis after I returned from Michigan and yesterday was the first day I felt mostly normal although I have a tickle in my throat that lingers as it goes away. It hit me for 7 days, and the recovery has been good since then.

We have a holiday party in 10 days or so. I wanted to bail on it but as someone who is designated essential personnel, or people who are expected to be the last to leave and first to return for disasters, I had to go to that.

I talked to different people around the building about it, and I got mostly thumbs down, and M. Right Hand Person said and looked like they weren’t feelin’ it. Gawd, I wish I didn’t have to go to that thing, but I guess that’s what I have to do in this position: go forth and show mirth while the building crumbles.

One year, I sat with a group in the back of the event location where we smirked and chortled like the bad kids at a lunch table; we also had too much wine. For another year, my former colleague Lily, Linnea (another colleague) and I sang the blues about our beaus because we all were in sabbaticals from our relationships. That probably was not the best way to celebrate a holiday gathering, but it worked for us, and then a poor student passed out on a bench 3 feet from us because she had 2 glasses of wine. At least she was safe.

I attended 2 others where I don’t remember anything although alcohol wasn’t involved. I got a group picture from one of them where a temporary employee from The Philippines stood next to me and he looked extremely happy (maybe he had too much alcohol?). Oh, wait, someone photobombed a picture of me and a colleague for another year. Thankfully, pictures remained of those blank events.

I was invited by Linnea, a colleague who is also an artist to go to Art Basel. I had some nice times with her lately. Although we have differences, for some reason, we speak a similar language. Being with her reminds me that—. oh, yeah, I really do have a free spirit inside of me. Being a self-contained educator / pretend-administrator is what I do to pay bills (and it does bring a degree of satisfaction). But, she noticed the crazy stuff I’ve done over the years with my moves and adventures. She’s such a relief. I feel like I can take off my building mask when I’m with her.

I’m finishing my final paper for my course and we had to write about policy. Wow, this class was really good because it taught me how to really go deeper in learning about things (yeah, and as if being shallow is a problem of mine). I don’t have too far to go and was able to do it at my own pace where I could get it done in a reasonable amount of time.

The thing was, I had to re-read my notes and skim chapters of things I read because I couldn’t readily remember much. I felt a little bad about that, but then I remembered what I learned in my previous time in grad school… I really don’t remember a lot of it. Hell, a lot of it is obsolete! But, somehow the activities lodged themselves deeper in my brain so I do unconsciously act out of what I learned. I sure am hoping it works the same for this program!

Yeah, and the deeper examination of certain topics kinda led me to the conclusion that, uh, we’ve really painted ourselves into a corner for a lot of issues in the name of satisfying our needs for short-term gains and benefits. It’s like the crappiest relationships or decisions we’ve every had, and now we have to deal with their outcomes. At this time, we get to do it on a societal level and people don’t really respond well to this. Sorry, it won’t be easy and the only way is to go through the merde.

downwind | upstream