Cafe Hitch-hike


Blue Skies

I got a blue sky Christmas. I met an interesting person on Christmas Day.

I met John on Christmas Day. I was enjoying our interaction. But the next day, I was squirming. It felt like situations from before: he was an older man (a la CO). I met him at a 12-step type function (Disturbed D*). While he noticed me first, I then noticed him, and gosh, liked it (CO again). The attraction felt more than just an appreciation of the person, but more charged (CO and D*).

I was enjoying myself at that 12-step function with him, and then afterwards a group of us went for Chinese and a movie. In the Chinese restaurant, I get a fortune cookie... I was making a joke about the way cookies are made:

"Let's see... 'Your winning smile will bring rewards,'" I said, and blasted off a few other fortune cookie quotes. "I write them, you know."

The table was wowed, and I said I was just kidding. I said that fortune cookies were usually general things.

"Wouldn't it be funny if a restaurant custom-made these instead?" I said. We joked about situations where that would happen. A girl on a date would be custom-made a cookie that they guy is a creep, or other funny yet accurate little messages.

I then am given a cookie: "Your love life will bring happiness and harmony".

"Oh, sure," I smirk. "Dating is hell. Let's see, I've dated (recall part of this list."

So, we all laughed it off. We went to see "The Big Fish," a touching fantasy-story. Afterwards, we exchanged business cards and we agreed to meet soon.

We had dinner 2 nights ago. What I got as a little gift was a short story he wrote. He was anxious for me to read it, but I waited until I was finished with the main course.

John patched together little things that happened the night in a story of a traveller who finds himself in a Chinese restaurant. He orders a cup of wonton soup, an eggroll, and some tea (what we ordered). He stays there and writes fortune cookie fortunes specially for the people he sees there. After a couple of months, gossip about strange coincidences and good luck circulate in the restaurant. Then, a group of people come into the restaurant. I am in the story. "A young dark-haired woman of striking beauty." He described me well, and added that I was the only person who noticed the fortune cookie writer, and the writer noticed me, and wrote one just for me...

It was very moving that he made that. I was very flattered, but didn't know really what to say.


This year is a year of limitations for me... I've been hitting a wall every time I seem to get close to something I want or need. Divination say that it isn't a bad thing because those things really weren't what I wanted or things that were good for me in the first place. Yeah, didn't want that jealous boyfriend who was a swinger (Joel). Didn't want that job in South Carolina (in a very homogeneous, die-hard Christian area, two things I don't blend well with). But what about real things like a good job? What about a real thing like a person who can love and care for me?

I look at John, and I had to shake off the thoughts of previous. Maybe attraction doesn't always lead to disaster. Maybe age difference doesn't necessarily mean I will end up taking care of an old man when I get older... Isn't that what a relationship is about, taking care of each other? And if people laugh as they did with CO and I, then piss on them. They could never see or comprehend what CO brought to me and to my life. On this dinner we had, he was respectful and attentive every moment. One clever young man told his girl friend to watch out for guys because they will always be on their best behavior at first. So be that. But so be that we can, once again, get to know each other and see what we can do.

Yeah, (hahaha), maybe I'll find out there's some severe personality flaw that would get in the way, but time will only tell.

The difference between now and CO and Disturbed D* is that maybe I'm a little wiser and patient.

Whatever the case may be, I'm so touched to see that a litle magic does still exist. That I was able to mend from a tiring time, that I was able to touch another. That someone else in this world is willing to enjoy the magic as well... If that's all I'll get in this time and place, I might as well like it and value it for what it is worth.

Magical. The fortune cookie... The chance meeting at the 12-step function... An attraction that sort of seems to leave off where CO and I finished... I saying at the function how much I wanted to see blue skies and got just that the next day when I woke up. Maybe this is the magic I need to melt this wall around me, or make it bearable, or refill me until something real and right comes along if or since this may be not it...

downwind | upstream