Cafe Hitch-hike

2022-12-31

In my whispers to her

I’ve been knowing this day would come, sooner or later. She hadn’t been well for the last week or so with a cough, difficult breathing, and very fast heart rate. The vet offered to do a battery of tests for $1,300 or so and offered a combo of 3 medications which I declined. Marley seemed fine the next day, but the days alternated where she was happy and content, and days where she’d spend in a coughing fit.

While I was sick with covid, she didn’t leave my side once. I thought it was because she was being a nurse, but perhaps…

…Something wasn’t right these last 3 days. She wouldn’t eat, and yesterday she stopped drinking water. I started to give her water through a baster and it was sweetened with a little honey so she would take it. I even gave her a tiny dose of an antibiotic she was recently prescribed. She stopped coughing, but an hour later, she was physically much worse. However, she still had her cheerful demeanor and was very responsive to attention.

I won’t belabor the rest, but just after midnight, I covered my bed with a dog blanket (it can absorb messes) and put a towel where she could lay down next to me. Marley laid by my side and she nudged me with her hind paw a few times. I didn’t mind and patted her.

I thought I was about to sleep when I saw the Himalayan salt lamp, which changes colors, flicker a little when it went from gray, white, and to blue. I closed my eyes before watching it cycle again with the flicker, and then I noticed the dog’s breathing and heartbeat slow down. I didn’t say or do anything but watch the light again, and then I noticed the dog go silent after 3 or 4 deep breaths while laying next to me.

Marley Angela, My Beloved Miniature Dachshund Companion
May 17, 2009 - December 31, 2022

I wait a few minutes and watched the salt lamp light cycle repeat. Marley laid still, so I wrapped her in the towel and had to grab another one. I held her and petted her, telling her I was absolutely lucky to have her in my life. This little dog has seen me through so many adventures and places, and has truly been a great life companion. I’ve always known she opened so many doors and people to me, and had been a most excellent dog ambassador. I actually made it a point in my whispers to her to say I would be ok and we’d always be together; she can go and didn’t have to worry about me.

I laid her down and could had sworn I felt a faint heart beat, but it was my own that I felt. Maybe I was dreaming, but I could had sworn when I felt it course through her little body that it came back to me a little stronger. Well, that certainly has been the effect she’s had on my heart over the years.

Now, I don’t know what to think or what to do.

downwind | upstream