Cafe Hitch-hike

2023-08-26

The hearing: 1 - 10

1. The Orange County Courthouse reminds me of the damn Gotham City Hall. We met in front of it and I was given a t-shirt with my niece’s picture. My sister B and I met the prosecutor and victim’s advocate who debriefed us before the sentencing hearing. They were very kind to us, and while my sister cried about some of the details, I assured her they all did the best they could.

2. Before we went into the courtroom, we debriefed my sister’s sons and her 2 friends. They could cry and lean on each other, but they were absolutely not to act out in any way. I said, “this is the judge’s courtroom. He has the power and that’s just the way it goes. You do what he says and stay quiet, even if you don’t agree with what he says. When you leave the courtroom and the building, you can say or do whatever you want.”. Thankfully, they listened.

3. The large window before the courtroom, on the 18th floor, faced west and toward the neighborhood where my niece Arielle was killed 4 years ago. I recognized the direction because I spotted the interstate freeway that dissected downtown Orlando from the neighborhood. The house was less than a mile away and literally down the street. Modern, sleek buildings were slowly encroaching on the dingy urban neighborhood pocked with vacant lots.

4. We were greeted in the courtroom by 8 armed and uniformed members of the Orange County Sherriff’s office. Their uniforms were forest green with a green and gold organization patch, and appeared to be an abrasive fabric. They were at full alert though composed yet with a look of uncertainty but prepared. The attorneys for the defendant and state of Florida were at their tables, but the defendant was tucked away in a corner of the jury box and had 2 sherriffs in front of him. If they weren’t in uniform, I could see them in a bar happily willing to entertain anyone with a fight. The defendant was a lean young man, not taller than 5’9. He wore a full prison scrubs. I didn’t realize he was fully shackled, feet and hands alike with a silver chain dangling from his hands to another around his ankles, until the law enforcement (LE) took him from the courtroom at the end of the hearing.

5. The room was like a pressure cooker and everyone could feel it. How things didn’t explode was an act of God. I perfectly understood the heavy LE presence, and it seemed that we did, too. When it was briefly explained my sister said the same and added, “our family is crazy but not that kind of crazy.”. The cops laughed a little.

6. I scribbled some things on my 12-page victim impact statement based on some new info I received from the prosecutor, conversations I had that morning, and things I noticed. The prosecutor told me to address the judge and not the defendant. I scribbled on the margins on the first page and 4th page, ‘Look at the judge.’. About a minute before the judge came in, it occurred to me to share one additional detail with everyone including my sister’s seriously angry sons (one 18 years old and the other 24): “when we are told ‘all rise,’ we all rise,” I cued. We did very soon after. I guess they really did hear my prep speech.

7. The charges were read. The defendant (and everyone else) agreed to a guilty plea bargain for 40 years in prison. There would not be a trial but only this sentencing hearing.

8. The defendant had a chance to make a statement along with one of his friends or family (there were 5 in the aisle across from us, with a cop standing in it). They declined, but would had done theirs after ours.

9. I agreed to make the statement quite a while back. I asked sis B to ask her friends for letters. She got a few and forwarded them to me the day before the hearing. They said similar things, and some had really beautiful content that I included. I really only had to piece things together. I also tossed in memories (yeah, I came back to these pages), conversations, and observations. I had to do some quick fact-checking (I quoted the firefighter who was interviewed by the local news about the fire, the address, and a day of remembrance I mention in the statement).

It took 5 hours to arrange the content and another 5 to type and polish it. I had chest pains, heartburn and headaches the whole time. I felt dizzy and sick, but I wanted to get it done.

10. I was sworn in. I could only face the judge and 2 court clerks from the podium at the center of the space. I did not see the defendant. I don’t know what happened, but my voice took a different tone that I had never heard come from me.

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