Cafe Hitch-hike

2021-11-02

My consumption of diversions to numb me to the peculiar realities abound

I've been surprised by how much I've enjoyed college football this year. My alma mater played a local team and the whole alumni community in this state was just hyped! They were posting all kinds of clips and memes on social media, and there were watch parties all over the place. The local team (I'm also a fan of them) is known for their (past) brashness and almost-unsportsmanlike conduct, but they played a very clean and fun game against University of the Rust Belt State. They play every 2 or 3 years and usually URBS rises above them after the first half of the game, but it's still fun to watch. My former beau Rafael was an alumni of the local team and we've had fun times watching our schools play (and yeah, we kept it real). Heck, he is partly responsible for converting me to his side (when my team isn't playing them)!

I started putting on the games when I clean house, and I'm quite energized when I'm done. I do a pretty thorough housecleaning and it takes longer since I have a larger living space; I usually feel tired afterward, but I still have energy when I'm done. Then, I can chat with co-workers about the games and know a lick about them.

Then, my alma mater played its in-state rival. It was a similar enthusiasm as the game with the local team. It was one of the most thrilling games I had seen in ages!

I guess I never would had appreciated sports so much after not having them for a while. One of my friends and I were serious last winter when we said we wanted to go see the monster trucks show when they come to town, and I had at least one person say they'd love to join us. It seems silly, but it's not. There's just something about being in a crowd and just feeling that mutual thrill for a little while.

Yep, yep, there's my consumption of diversions to numb me to the peculiar realities abound.

Now, I guess I can write about despair. There are so many weird things happening at work (and not with my immediate colleagues for once) that everyone's heads are spinning. I actually cried in my office yesterday morning, and I know why. I guess my empath super powers picked up that no one knows what the fuck is going on and have very little power to influence things. It was already happening in my building thanks to a very bad administrator and our reputation, but now the dysfunction goes above us.

Our political overlord is busy posturing himself to become the next president (no kidding), seeing if he can win a douchelord contest with the Texas overlord, and just can't get the hell away from TV cameras. The support and environment has gotten seriously bad for all levels of education, ranging from the 4,000 teacher vacancies due to recent resignations and retirements, and this will probably happen next with colleges and universities since our rights and funding are also getting disemboweled. Welcome to Florida, a snake pit mash-up of transplants, capitalism, a cruel brand of governance, and privilege.

We have a vacancy for our building Grand Pubah. The building was very proactive (and respectful) with expressing our suggestions for this search, and they were refreshingly well-received and acted on by our institutional overlords. But, we now wonder if anyone will even want to touch the position with all that is going on.

I just shake my head. I recall that many have been leaving my profession, with more within the 3 years before the pandemic. I even wanted to leave it because I was sick of it. Now I see that the issues that pricked me so much really are endemic with the larger profession, and that me in my simple, quasi-lecturer role shared the same gripes as the more accomplished, powerful, and credentialed people. Maybe there's still time for me to become a madam, masseuse, or storefront psychic who lives out of a van (all alternate professions I joked about taking on; I recently added marijuana store or greenhouse employee to that maybe not so fictitious list). But damn, things like benefits and house payments kinda keep me in place like tar in my heels.

I'm sure I'll get the will to make changes. I just don't quite see it yet, but I'm sure asking the universe to give me hints.

downwind | upstream