Cafe Hitch-hike

2021-12-21

San Pedro journey

I went on another psychedelic journey with some ladies over the weekend and it was headed by a curandera. We ingested the prepared pulp of a cactus known as huachuma (also known as San Pedro) and it was an interesting trip. I set my intentions, and after drinking the frothy, green tea-like substance, I started to feel it about 45 minutes later. It was similar to ayahuasca, though not nearly as physically or psychologically intense. I definitely saw myself more as an observer and was able to keep my cool through what would had frightened me 2 years ago. Like aya, some parts of the journey looped or repeated, but that was ok. When it did, I tried to see into the vision so I could make more out of it.

I saw a lot in the 4 hours I laid in the curandera's air-conditioned garage in the back of her nursery in a rural area not far from me. It was me and an assortment of 7 other ladies, some who I knew and some I didn't. I definitely liked its vibe more than that of the energy workshops I had done over the year. In terms of what I saw while I was on this inner journey, I'm still piecing that together.

I was warmly held by my maternal grandmother, it was one of the first things I had seen, but I realized I only remembered one instance of that past the time I was a baby. There really was a lack of affection and expressed love in my life growing up (love came in the form of a roof over my head and clothes on my back), and I saw myself as a child largely standing and walking by myself. This wasn't a hallucination, it really was my childhood and it felt sad to really see that.

I tearfully buried Huck and also buried him at sea. I said my goodbyes to him and told him I loved him, but instead, he jumped out both times. He said he didn't want to go and said he would never leave. Oh, I have some thoughts about that, but it may be a wish on my part, or another 'take the good, take the bad' things I experienced in my life. He may had well felt that way, but too bad he was deceitful from the start.

Two weeks ago (and in real life), I saw a coral snake biting a legless glass lizard in the flowerbeds next to my building. It bit it multiple times until the lizard didn't move anymore. The snake tried to eat it (which was almost comical, its body was half of its size) and after a few unsuccessful attempts, latched onto it and slowly pulled it into the shrubs. This image looped during my journey, and I asked questions about what the snake was doing. Every time it looped, I got pieces of answers.

I saw more than these things, but at the end, the spirit of the plant appeared to me. I asked it, "this has been quite the experience. If you're supposed to be more gentle than ayahuasca, then why are you appearing to me as James Bond?"

He said, "the way I work depends on who I'm working with, and it's different depending on the person. In your case, I have to be James Bond!" He was the Albert Craig version. We both had a good-natured laugh, and then the curandera had us wake up to see the full moon.

Ok, so the plant spirit isn't literally James Bond, but what does he represent? He takes his missions with glamour, intensity, tenacity, a willingness to take huge chances, face danger, use deadly force, and... doing so in service (recall On Her Majesty's Secret Service).

We stood outside and watched the moon. I thought the stars were moving quickly, but when I adjusted my sight, it was the wisps of clouds. I had to laugh at my warped perception. I recognized the constellation Orion and its angle; it usually appeared at a different one from the back of my house and I tried to discern the nursery's directional orientation compared to mine (not easy to try, hah).

Some of the women I knew wanted to go for pancakes, but all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and my stomach felt sensitive from the frothy brew. I felt terrible the next day, and ignored all phone calls.

'Great,' I said to myself. 'Is this the plant, or is this my holiday malaise coming at full force?' I was tired, my body ached, and I had an awful headache. The 2 other women who went with me who reported the same. After ignoring my neighbor's phone calls, I answered. She was going to take me for an Italian dinner as a gift and wanted to schedule something, but after I described how I felt, she suggested I get tested for Covid...

...ugh, maybe that was what it was. I felt pretty ragged after my last day of work (which is normal after a stressful semester), but I thought it was from the strong drinks I made that night. I also thought maybe it was all the socializing I had done (going to a friend's shop, going to Miami with Timmy, doing the huachuma ceremony; I do get drained sometimes after socializing). Sometimes mental strain becomes body aches and tiredness for me, and I've been very upset about cancelling my holiday travel and with my sister Princ. Maybe it's none of this but the bug?

I went to get tested at my work because they offer free testing for us. Behind the worksite is a big parking lot that's been used as a drive-thru testing site. When I drove past it to get to the testing site for employees, the line was almost a mile long. Not good. I'll see in a day or 2 if I got infected. I don't have a fever or the usual symptoms: it's just feeling blah, tired, and achy.

Anyhow, I'll spend my time off at home maybe piecing together the rest of the huachuma ceremony and doing little but keeping the dog company. Even if I test positive, it would suck but so far, the symptoms aren't awful (thank you, Pfizer/BioTech + booster). I just hope if I am positive that I didn't infect others.

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