Cafe Hitch-hike

2021-12-30

But I was very wrong

I got a follow-up from my small Christmas Eve gathering. I realized I blacked out more than I thought. Juliet the neighbor wasn't impressed with Timmy's boasts and locker room humor. I never thought he would be that way with others that way and I usually ignored that, but I was wrong. Of course, Timmy made a pass at her at the end of the night. Apparently I was in front of them when it happened (hence, the blackout because I didn't remember any of that).

So it continues with the Timmy Chronicles. I need to ask myself how much longer I want to have someone like him in my life, never mind as a friend or even as a friend demoted from benefits. I thought he'd be less of a jerk once we stopped being romantic, but I was very wrong.

I've had to let people go from my life and this one's been difficult. I've blocked him multiple times, but I guess I let him back because I'm obviously stupid. Ok, maybe I thought it would be different that time around, and there's been quite a few times where he was actually ok to me for a while until that quit. If that didn't happen, his presence was so minimal where we'd just talk on the phone once a week (if that) before there was zero contact for months. The air in my space had been clear enough that his minimal presence didn't pollute it. Now, I think I have serious problems.

Well, well, 2021. I think when 2020 ended, I said the door could hit its ass on the way out and fall down the stairs while it's at it. 2021, the same could be said.

Like with everyone else around here, my living costs jumped up. It is mostly from hikes in insurance, particularly for hazards. We live in a hurricane zone and it is also Ground Zero for flooding, sea level rise and groundwater salinization. I guess the insurers still want to profit so their shareholders can pay for their escape pods from this planet, never mind the higher probability of hazards. Hah. Sorry.

I read an interview by a scientist about how they warn of hazards, and she joked that if scientists all of the sudden buy up all the good wine (and booze), max out their credit cards, or disappear, that's when we should be seriously concerned. I'll see what my geoscience friends will be up to. If I hear both of them abandoned their posts, took their families, and headed somewhere far away or unknown, there's my signal to do the same (hah again).

At least I had some very nice social calls these past few days. I went with Mari to the beach and some nice talks; she's always so happy after she spends time with her grandkids and is also an academic who's happy to be on break. I also got to spend time with a colleague and we went out to a local fisherman's bar and restaurant, followed by a trip to the beach with Miss Marley the dog. I had a brew with my mentor, and he cheered me up. I thanked him for putting up with me. Chris from the Detroit-area said he'd hit me up tomorrow.

New Years. No plans for the stroke of midnight, but I will meet some ladies for some meditation and a picnic in the morning after. I'll just send thoughts of forgiveness to others, atonement or claiming responsibility for what I've done, and hope that I'm able to ride whatever ripples or waves I'll see here at in my wetlands abode.

downwind | upstream