Cafe Hitch-hike

2023-07-26

Live to tell

Defending yourself because you're the only person of your kind or type or who looks like you in the room or place.

Learning to stand on your own and defend yourself because it's rare to be defended.

Explaining that your hair color is real.

Explaining that you really are from where you say you're from.

Hiding benign things about yourself because you know they will be subject to judgment, attack, gossip, or ostracism.

Being assertive made you outspoken, uncooperative, or out of line.

Being quiet made others think you were passive, uninterested, didn't want to be there, boring, or lacking gravitas.

Stop correcting others when your name is mispronounced after a bunch of times.

Being greeted with a straight face when it seems everyone else gets a smile.

Considering a procedure or changing your appearance to lessen certain characteristics about your looks.

Explaining you earned the right to be in a given place and qualify to be there.

Having a plan in case someone gets aggressive with you, and usually deciding in advance to not report it because past concerns were ignored or you were blamed for it.

Being ignored or not greeted when others are.

Being told you're too tall, fat, skinny, loud, quiet, smart, incompetent, cold, hot, needy, loner.

Being treated like you don't matter.

Knowing your expertise will likely be overridden by the loudest voices in the room who don't know shit.

Knowing your sense of belonging in the place is subject to others' opinion of you that is also subject to change.

Knowing that some people see you as a threat.

Being mobbed.

Requests go unfulfilled.

People tell you to take assertiveness training.

People tell you to take anger management.

People tell you not to take things so seriously.

People tell you you don't take things seriously enough.

Hiding.

Editing or abridging.

Fighting or pushing back in silence.

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Resilience.

Getting back on your feet.

Having cheerleaders and people who believe in you.

Seeing the results of a commitment.

Creating something that wasn't there before.

Your creation is used for a very long time (and no one attempts to change it).

Seeing a pattern or something else that helps a lot of people.

Approaching an issue from a different perspective, and it worked.

Making connections with you and between others.

Being able to see outside factors that were gonna affect the immediate setting.

Making friends and seeing them flourish.

Getting greeted warmly, kindly.

Others confide in you and you respect and keep their confidence.

You are offered things that are not offered to others because, well, you could do it or get a lot out of or even like it very much.

You made things more beautiful or in better shape than things were before you got there.

Others say and truly feel you made the place better and added to it just by being you.

You are strong and brave, and provided backbone to a place or to others.

Others learned from you or were inspired.

Your perspective helps you lob humorous things when most needed.

You were able to see many things, places, and people.

You were able to love a lot of things, places, and people.

You have a unique look and it's not like you had to try to have it.

You brought something refreshing and new to a given place.

All the things you learn become added to your life toolkit.

You surprise people with your experiences and what you learned.

You embrace surprises.

You earned your stripes and no one can take them away from you.

Maybe it all gave you the ability to have a deeper and richer life, and to touch things that frighten most people (and live to tell about it).

downwind | upstream