Cafe Hitch-hike

2023-08-04

Openness, new possibilities

I went to a book fair when I found a book written by an acquaintance who ran an collective / cooperative in an unlikely place. They and an editor interviewed people who were involved with that scene. I immediately ordered it as soon as I could. The co-op was one of my centers in a new town. They operated a cafe that served vegan food and ok. It was on the so-so side of town and next to some railroad tracks, and I found it over time to be a great place to— write proposals and other things to published. I batted .900 or something like that in terms of them getting accepted.

I knew it had to do with the co-op’s openness to many perspectives and to not be afraid to do things yourself and outside the perceived limits of things. I enjoyed what the co-op and its people added to the community and the space they created. It really challenged some of my notions and beliefs, but I appreciated it.

The cooperative is still going strong. I did some work for them back when I lived in that town. I asked them to write a letter of recommendation for them, and it was—. beautiful? Touching? I cried when I read it but joyful tears. They said I was one of the first to cross the line as the co-op was started by punk and anarchists. They said others who started to included a local priest and other community members who worked with them and their causes.

Oh damn. I embrace that memory and experience for the next leg, chapter or whatever I wanna call this. The openness was a beautiful thing because I was writing a blank page, I was starting something new and in a new place. It showed me that many things were possible as long was I was willing to look across the lines and boundaries. I liked being in that space, something else within me also opened up.

I’m doing some tough work now that the courses are over. In a way, it’s in anticipation of some heavy things to come with my temp role. It hit me that the building and plenty else in our sphere are going through changes. It reminded me of 2 instances where I took on jobs where I was part of some changes. People were ruffled by the change, many really wanted things to stay the same, and sometimes I really had to be clever with navigating that (especially people who hated me at first because of assumptions). My part won’t be so different (again) since the temp role will be something similar.

I’m aware that the new grand pubah hadn’t been happy with the quality of work in the building and they / their higher-ups want to make changes to that. Hoh boy, this ought to be fun. I realized it’s directly related to last year’s project from hell that I had to lead. One of our collaborators did some poor work, we were largely powerless to hold them accountable thanks to the way things worked, and their finished work was bad and carried forward. Welllll, that got the wrong kind of attention from people above us. They introduced some new rules and someone in the building freaked out about them. If one person did, changes are high that others will soon enough, and I’ll be a member of a team that has to address the freak outs.

I went to places where change was taking place that I didn’t have to be a member of the cleanup or enforcement crew. Now I do. I remembered the openness because I’ll need to be open to possibilities of all sorts, even unconventional ones. I wanted to recapture those feelings.

In the thick of it all, maybe I can find or forge a little community like I had with that one when I was a stranger in a strange land cos I’m definitely in another one of those again.

I’m doing even more inner work with myself and my skills. Part of it is to stay steps again, like to protect myself. There’s also so many little wisps of insight I’ve been having lately that I also need to know I will always have options. I’m also hoping what I’ve known, learned and experienced can also add strength and courage.

All I know is I don’t want to do all of this running as far ahead of others out of fear as I have been for… I don’t know how long. Rather than running, it may be time for me to don my armor, sharpen my weapon, and either be skillfully tactful and diplomatic, or be ready to take a firm stand along with some dings and get back on my feet as soon as I can.

downwind | upstream