Cafe Hitch-hike

2023-07-29

Reviews of sorts

My friend Leslie found a cute cantina near her place and we went there last night. Leslie was willing to go with me to the car dealership across the street from it. I had an appointment with them to check on a car the next day, and since I was in the neighborhood, why not get there early? I’m sure the dealers would love the late sale (or the chance to get a commission).

OMG, I loved the car. It was the color I wanted and it had a sunroof. Sitting in the damn driver’s seat felt like the best LazyBoy recliner / foam bed. Les sat in the back and I asked for her opinion. She’s so funny.

The car salesman was fetching. He looked like a former beau and you can say I felt a pleasant feeling. The reality, however, was the damn $550 a month car payment kinda lessened my enthusiasm about the cute crossover SUV and even with a considerable down payment. The cost of seeing the salesman, the resulting surge, and driving a brand spanking new car: free.

I felt pretty ok with how the car handled, but it wasn’t as good on gas as I hoped.

After Leslie and I were done with the dealership, she said the guy was cute and in a (name of occupation) way. I then told her she looked like a former beau. who was in fact a (name of occupation), and we had a good laugh.

I thought about the beau. We didn’t have a particularly warm or healthy relationship. However, when the time was right, the chemistry was… healthy, exquisitely healthy. Even when we had seen each other in passing years after things were over, he had that look and I definitely felt that feeling under my skin and plenty of other places. We were both probably thinking, ‘oi, mami/ papi, whatchya doing after this?’.

Thankfully, other recollections entered my in those instances. The guy was a jerk. We cheated on each other; I wanted to break up because of what I did, but he did not. Our communication was bad. However, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. I imagine that years and years later, we’d probably have the similar feeling of *schwing* when we’d see each other.

I can say I had far better times with people where that chemistry wasn’t present, or things were better between us. There was much more of a synergy. We were able to lean on each other.

Why couldn’t that attraction be with a lovely person where we got on, had compatible values, and could actually talk to each other? Why does the sexy chemistry be on the low side in those cases? It’s such a drag! Or better yet, when that all seemed to come together, why did the guy have to be a complete sheister?

My car is going on 12 years and I’ve owned it for 11, the longest ever for a car. It’s been the most reliable one I’ve ever had. It took me a whole 5 minutes to decide on it after I drove it (and, it surpassed my expectations). But, I’m exploring my options. As last night’s bello dealer checked on what my payments would be, I also did a quick check. Mercury isn’t retrograde ‘til the end of August, so it’s ok to buy transportation. But, Venus is retrograde and that’s a bad time to put down money on something (yeah, and to the tune of $500+ a month). I need to update my budget (which is a good Venus retrograde activity).

I cracked up, my sis bought a car on Mercury retrograde. She ended up having to get a completely new car from the company because it was defective. I didn’t want to think about what could happen with a big purchase that goes south.

Anyhow, last night was one that had me remembering former hot beaus (hah) and reconsidering money issues. I also had to think about other things.

It reminded me of when Uncle Joe left me his bit of change after he died. I felt really underserving and almost in a bit of a shock until I was convinced I was worthy. I hated shopping because of the treatment I’d get from the salesclerks and I didn’t grow up with much money at all. There I was, in a nice dealership and eyeballing the kind of car I wanted; a part of me went back into my 20 year old self that was making minimum wage, renting a room from grand-dad at the family rate (which he provided with some reservation), and being broke as fuckall. What if things took a turn for the worse economically? What if, what if, what if—?

I’ll definitely need to do my budget, and see how a car purchase can align with my money philosophy. I’m sure I can buy something, but it’s not like the old days (hahaha), when I bought a 2 year old car for $9,000 and I sold it after 7 years. Or even like my current car where its payment was less than my student loan. Oh, do I love not having a car payment. I also miss having car I can reliably jump in and drive to Texas or Michigan. Or California or New York.

Hmmm… decisions, decisions. I’ll use the time to mull over it like a retrograde has us do, bahahah.

downwind | upstream