Cafe Hitch-hike

2024-02-29

End Stage (For Real This Time?)

(Reposted from last year.)

There's days where I swear certain things outside of me are in the end stage of cancer, where the cancer aggressively eats way at its host. The host's functioning slides downward as the cancer increases its momentum. The cancer firmly has the upper hand while it completely cannibalizes the life within its host.

I remembered the downward slides of others. I had seen it in my friend Remy, my uncle, and my birth father. I see it in things outside of me.

Is that what I'm viewing? I wonder who else notices this. Am I only the one who does, or am I crazy?

Yep, I'm crazy, hahaha.

...

If I hear it in what is around me, will I know?

Things outside of my have taken weird twists, and I don't know if it's gonna be another one of those scenarios where someone puts a band-aid (or plaster) on a deep wound with heavy bleeding and it actually suffices, or if the wounded ends up bleeding out.

And meanwhile, after a meditation this morning, a remembrance of true love so full and warm came to me. It felt so real that I thought I could pick up the phone and call or text them with a prompt reply with that love. I looked at the rising sun out of my window and held the thought that no matter how far they may be in time or distance, we stood and looked at that same sun but in different skies.

One last kiss?

downwind | upstream