Cafe Hitch-hike
Diary
recent
Just enjoy nothing serious :
2022-11-12
Another frontier :
2022-11-07
For what it's worth :
2022-11-02
Hallowed eve at the 3-for-1 place :
2022-11-01
What I secretly relish :
2022-10-29
credits
2022-10-24
What would these things be like?
Mercy, what would happen if I just woke up one morning and… I had regular female matters at the front of my mind? Make someone a meal, listen to or advise someone, have my spouse or partner kiss me before they leave? I get to work part-time and then take care of a house or family? What would it had been like if I had a domestic life rather than a career?
Think of or plan for family and friend gatherings rather than work matters?
What if I didn’t have to make plans for the next 20 years of my life (or at least plans that I hope make it more better than less)? What if I didn’t have to use a creative blend of objectivity (the facts) and subjectivity (what ifs) to maneuver the politics of work? What if I didn’t have to think much about my retirement, what I need to do fix or update with my house, or any of that? What if these things simply weren’t in my head or attention?
What would it had been like to be able to make my decisions based on my heart or emotions rather then reviewing and considering the many, many possibilities and risks? What if I could make them more simply on right or wrong than having to see all the grays inbetween?
What would it be like to live more lovingly and with little fear of it going awry? That one could be assured there wasn’t a big chance of betrayal, abuse, or coldness in return for the love I’d try to give?
What would it be like to just show up with my soul rather than all my usual defenses or knowledge?
What would it be like to simply live with my essence instead of through all the labels I’ve acquired throughout life?
What would these things be like? I’m sure I may find out in a dream or another one of my journeys.
I really can’t say I fully experienced the love a parent may feel for a child because I never had children. I can’t say the same about a spouse because I never married.
Now that I think about it, the more beautiful moments and people in my life had something in common. They showed me something to which I had no idea or comprehension. They showed me ways of being and possibilities I did not know where possible for me at all, like these questions I just pondered. For the rest, there’s my dreams and journeys.