Cafe Hitch-hike

2021-11-28

Maybe that was really what it was supposed to be.

Thanksgiving... I'm getting much better at this holiday thing. Maybe I can have this much composure for Christmas (which is usually my worse day of the year). Maybe?

I didn't realize my brother and siblings don't care much for the holidays and often don't celebrate many festivities. Last year, my brother and cousin told me stories of missed holidays, or being too broke to really do anything even like a meal. When our sis Bre was here 2 years ago for Thanksgiving, she admitted she never cooked them and always left them to someone else. They also said they didn't care much for its usual food.

I didn't ask, but perhaps they have the same unpleasant memories of the holidays.

Well, one thing I said to them was we can make the holidays any way we want them to be. My big thing really was just to be together and have some good food. We didn't need to make them normal or look like the gatherings of other family, but just for them to be normal for us.

I gave cousin Drew a copy of a DVD that contained collection of his father's holiday recordings from when we were kids. I was told that Drew spent a lot of time watching it. I don't know what Drew was thinking, but I did recall he stood at the epicenter for what became a family disaster because his father was a big part of it. A lot of what was recorded took place when that disaster went down but hadn't yet been exposed. What he felt was probably no different from me reconciling the very real and beautiful memories of family that co-existed with extremely painful events. The recording also had images of his beloved mother and our grandmother who had passed.

While I visited my brother and cousins, I also inquired to see if any other people from Michigan would be in the area. I missed a couple of people because they went back home before the holiday. I sent a text to Chris, a guy I met in the hotel where we stayed and spent an intriguing evening.
"The place isn't the same without you!" He was glad I remembered. We're not in contact as much, but it's nice to say hello.

My poor little dog's nerves got frayed from the visit and she started itching like crazy. Miss Marley has an anxious disposition which has improved with age but it would show up in weird ways. I couldn't find a vet in the area to see her during my visit and I felt bad for her suffering. She had a tough trip to Texas 2 years ago and couldn't wait for us to get home (she even went so far as to pull me out of the hotel while on her leash on the day we went home). It looks like I really can't travel for extended amounts of time with her, so now she is retiring from that.

I sat on a stool in the middle of a stage, and the setting changed around me more than once. I looked around and didn't know what to make of it, it was rather confusing. It then went dark. Lights slowly turned on and I found myself on the side of the stage and looked at where I had been. Huck was there instead and he beautifully played a guitar with ease and flow. When he finished his song, I was led to a stool next to his, and I sat down.

Huck nodded to me but didn't say anything. He smiled and looked very comfortable. We then looked at the audience, he raised his guitar, and we started a song on cue. I sang while he played and we gave a melodic and cheerful performance. He kissed me at the end of the song, it felt warm and sincerely friendly. It ended and we turned to the audience who gave us applause.

We ate in a high-rise restaurant after the show. I couldn't hear what we said, but the body language wasn't promising. He looked at me with almost a smirk. My lips moved but he continued with the smirk. They moved more and he sipped his liquor. I looked at him and his unchanged expression and decided to get out of the chair. I walked to the edge of the restaurant and stepped off it. I dropped by a couple of feet but then grew wings and flew away.

It was definitely a dream. In real life, Huck wasn't a cheerful person. I'm not a great singer and he didn't play any instruments. I doubt he'd have that kind of composure on a stage (or in most settings). I thought it over some more. Maybe we were like a song, one creation for a time and place. It was a single performance or creation of ours. Although it was only a one time thing, surely those who watched will remember it. I think we surprised ourselves by what we were able to do on that stage. Once it was all said or done, perhaps it was time to step and fly away. Maybe that was really what it was supposed to be.

downwind | upstream