Cafe Hitch-hike

2022-05-19

Trainspotting

I dreamed I sat near the top of my hometown's Lookout Point that overlooked its river valley. I wasn't sure why I was there until I noticed train tracks at the bottom of the hill, and then he approached me. Instead of sitting, I decided to stand next to him.

A train approached. Instead of having all the cars be different colors and exteriors of jagged metal, they were smooth surfaced and tan, almost like something military.

"Watch," he whispered to me and nodded to the tracks.

The train proceeded as usual with the chugging noise from the tracks until I heard a terrible, piercing screech. The train derailed and the front engine crashed head-first into the side facing us and I was startled. What startled me more was a flame from the engine, and other cars started to crash into the ones in front of it. One of the cars derailed and almost fell sideways, but didn't.

A door slid open, and a young girl jumped out. It was me, at age 8 or so.

"Come on!" She said to those behind her. "This way, come this way!"

I stood by the door and waved my younger brother and sisters out. I was surprised how well they listened to me and followed my direction. Once they were out, we ran away from the train and kept running.

He leaned near my ear and said almost in a whisper, "you're strong."

I was terrified at what I saw but the spectator motioned for me to stay put. Another identical train appeared, pushing that train out of the way. It also crumbled to the side of the tracks like an accordion except one of the cars got loose and turned over twice until it landed on its side. This time, the spectator stood motionless so I stayed still and watched.

A roof hatch opened in that car. A young woman peered around the car and the scene although she looked very confused. She climbed out of door, and I recognized her as me at age 21. She was alone, and she fell on her hands and knees when she got on the grass. Although she was dazed, she took one last look at the car and then quickly ran away in the same direction as the children before her.

The spectator's composure kept me composed although I felt so much fear and fright whirl inside. I looked at him as if to ask, 'why am I watching this?'

"This is what I had seen and I wanted to show you," he said as if anticipating my question.

I was shaking while he said this. It didn't take long at all to know what the crashed train and cars really meant in my life, and it made me sad to know he had seen it.

In the same manner, he said, "you still have a good life."

I looked at him and then we both looked at the train.

"You showed me mine," he said, "so now I'm showing yours."

I wasn't really sure what he meant. I didn't recall showing the spectator his life but maybe I did without knowing. Maybe it had happened in our conversations, and perhaps my body language and expressions. Maybe he saw things better after seeing them through me, and he was doing the same in return.

downwind | upstream